Gravel and sand

8/21

Martin. Finally back from his summer in California. Big hugs and kisses. Wondering when his office will be ready again. Hey, we’re working on it. Looking for someone to commission his Antigone. And the big issue: working within the big picture to find a way to keep him here long term. A permanent presence. So we could actually begin a real collaboration.

My heart sinks when I see Sean tucked in on 86th Street again. I say, Hey, he says Sorry, give me twenty minute, OK? I say OK.

An hour later, Stephen tells me Sean is still there. And being hostile. I go back out. What happened to his  electric wheel chair? 
Wheels locked. It’s at Goddard. Will take a week to be fixed. He looks at my iced coffee. Could I get him one? 
Sure. 
Can I have that one?,
 I think a minute. Well, OK.
And some water? I get him a bottle of water. 
Do I have clean pants? I go in find a pair of shorts. That might fit. He wants a shirt. I bring one from his bag. 
Twenty minutes OK? Tells me he shouldn’t have been drinking last night. 

An hour later, RL tells me Sean is still there. I start to go back. RL precedes me. I’m not sure how this is going to go. RL is convinced my Christianity gets in the way of dealing with reality. He asks Sean to leave. Sean gets offended. RL gets more direct. Brings up Teddy’s work with Sean. How Teddy saved his  life and that  Sean is throwing  it away. Fucking it up. Sean tells me to get this motherfucker out of his face. A conversation of the merits of involving the police ensues. Seems Sean would actually like a few days behind bars. But then he takes a piece of his wheel chair and brandishes it at RL. Like Samson with his jawbone. RL doesn’t flinch. Sean talking about what the voices in his head are telling him to do.  We’ve got a stalemate. My deal with RL is if I can’t get him to leave, it’s 9-11.

Sean gets off a good line about RL, Fake ass Kenny Rogers, fake ass Willy Nelson. But RL’s more poignant line is You can’t help someone who doesn't realize he’s being helped. And later, you can put gravel on the sand  and sometimes it will turn into sand. But sometimes it just remains gravel.

When I come back out, Sean wants to talk to  his social worker. We finally get the number right and make a call. He leaves a message, gets frustrated and leaves. Then the social worker calls me back. They're sending  out a team. But it’s too late.

Back in Mc Alpin, on the second floor, RL’ s crew with Glen and  his friend and David S has the scaffolding up. Fifteen feet high And RL is on top. Ready to deal with some ceiling issue. Not sure I want to see this. I  tell RL that Sean is gone

The social worker calls me back. Tells me that Sean also goes by Montgomery, has many noms de rue, as they say.

Mysteries continue. RL has locked the bathroom near his studio. But someone has bent the hasp. Remains of parsley in the toilet. What could this mean?  Cushions from the front of the church have gone missing. RL found them on the front steps. Apparently someone  entered the church and took them out and put the on the front step. What good is changed locks if the doors are kept open?

I scratch my head. My hour with Sean was emotionally  exhausting. Felt ready to give up right then and there. I’ve had enough.

Hours later, I'm at the bar at 59E59 after a reading of Melissa A's new play. I'm thinking about how she uses the particularty of her Wales to open the door into universal issues. Get a call from RL. He's left his backpack at the church. Can I meet him there? Of course. And after a visit to the Gate and a conversation wirh Thatcher about our website, that's where we wind up.