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Thursday, November 21, 2013

This is it


11/19
OK. This is it. The moment of decision.
I had a dream. I was kind of like Wallenda. Only without a harness. The narrow rope was slippery. In the middle, nothing is visible, you can’t see a thing. Water whirling and swirling. Sweeping up around me.  All I can do is keep moving. And finally all the fog and mist lifts an I can see the other shore. And keep going. Until I reach safely the other side. And then it’s low tide and the waters all disappear. This dream vision calms me. I will pass safely over. I will get to the other side. I will be taken care of. All calming me. This will stay with me all day long. I’m ready for the day.
I feel strangely calm for having everything, literally, on the line with this vote. And still I take time to do my laundry, wanting to have clean underwear. Pick up my dry cleaning, wanting a clean shirt. And go to the legendary New York barber shop, Paul Mole, to get my haircut. I need to feel as good as I possibly can.
At the church, Danielle is taking our final version of the FAQ’s and our revised budget to the Bengladeshi print shop. I realize I’ll have to leave early to get to Brooklyn in time  to get our things on the table.
Marsha has reserved a car service and Jamie will be driving to make sure that all our people get there on time.
Stephen and Danielle have finished the power point and Stephen is practicing his presentation. He’s got to bring his best salesman game with him. And just tell his own story.
Danielle’s trying to get all the tech issues resolved.
No more delaying. I’ve got to go. I’ll meet the rest in Brooklyn. On the one hand, O have my vision, getting safely across to the other side. On the other, that sense of dread in the stomach, what if…
But I get on the train with the knowledge that there is not one more phone call, one more e-mail I could have done. Nothing more I could have written. All in. All in. This is it.

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