Maundy Thursday, Holy Thursday

3/26

Need a break. UP to RL’s studio for a quiet sit. He’s playing classical music for a change. We share complaints and stories of woe. If it were music, it would be the blues. There’s a group called Mudfoot coming in to shoot a music video on Saturday. We want to check them out, but the Internet is disappearing again. Stephen comes down to give it a look. I’ve got t be on y way to my colleague Alistair’s for a screening  of Of Gods and Men....a film about the seven Trappist monks kidnapped from the monastery of Tibherine during the Algerian civil war of 1996. Perfect film for Holy Week.

3/28

It’s Maundy Thursday. Holy Thursday. The night we remember Jesus gathering with his friends to celebrate the Passover. The last supper. Danielle meets me in the sanctuary. RL passes through and allows as to how he’s bemused encountering us in the sanctuary trying to figure out what we’re doing in the sanctuary. Stephen and Danielle have prepared the table. It’s already set with fresh grapes, mozzarella, basil and tomatoes. Welch’s grape juice. 

I go out for two cheeses. Matzoh. Wine.  I’m in a state of rising anxiety trying to finish packing up my manse for its renovation. And ultimate sale. Feeling fragile. While I’m racing round trying to get ready, I encounter Rachelle on the steps. Tonight it’s almost too much. She’s heading to Borough Park for a seder. Telling me about all that they’ll have left over.  She can’t carry it. All we need is someone with a car. Am I sure that I don’t know anyone with a car? Why not? Punctuated by horror stories from capital hall where she lives. I’ve been trying to figure out what ‘s wrong with my debit card until I discover I put the deposit in the wrong account. Just enough to run out and run back again. But she’s relentless. I pull away.

When I come back, she’s gushing over a nice young couple, an intelligent young couple,won’t they come in? They’re just in town and just married. Won’t they come in, pastor invite them in...They are glowing, I try to be nice. Realize I’m being unpleasant. Not good. I try to reverse course, probably too late. Maybe they’ll come back tomorrow. Rachelle’s about to chide me. Looks at me. Thinks better of it. I wish her again a happy pesach. 

My phone  rings. It’s P_____. I know what she’s up to. About to accuse me of betraying her again. She's still angry we wouldn't let her move in. Madness is beginning to get to me. Stephen sees and decides to stick around. We are very small. So I ask everyone to sit down. Speak quietly and calmly. And so the conversation  goes. Anna and puppy have arrived as well. 

I remember last year. Teddy leaning across to wipe Bobby’s mouth. The warmth of the circle around the table. Each year is different. But I do begin  calm down. Relax.

Stephen promises me he’ll be sure everythings ‘s cleaned up right. My keys see to be missing. Son Dan and Andrea waiting at the Indian restaurant beside the B.