Wednesday, January 30, 2013

If only...


It’s a day long Presbytery meeting. What’s worse, a day in court or Presbytery? I leave just after the vote on gracious dismissal... ie, how to let congregations leave and keep their property...such mixed feelings...I tell Hope I’ve got to go back and meet Nancy to talk real estate.

As I’m approaching the church door, I see her. Invite her in. Stephen is practicing the piano. Nancy sits and listens. I ask Steve,Was Danielle in?  And he repliesYes, she  left about half an hour ago. He continues to play. Nancy and I head to the B.


Mariola is in the Noche office working. Nancy drops in to pick up keys.  Hope comes to meet me an dtravel down to Centre Street and Civil Court.

Long hours later. Drag into the office at the end of a long day in court. Glad that Hope was there too. To testify. Dumb case, really. Someone who’s proposal didn’t get chosen for our project suing to get the proposal preparation fees refunded. As Nancy said,that would set  a horrible precedent. The part  I feared the most, the testimony of old friends, wasn’t so bad. Questions  answered honestly. With integrity. And even making  a good witness to our way of doing things. Democratic vote, majority rule. As my friend said, win some, lose some, but don’t break community...

In the hands of the judge now. And the whole process draining. Even when it was my attorney asking questions of the plaintiff’s witnesses, my stomach got in ever tighter knots. Later Hope said to me, remember, we didn’t set this in motion... Doesn’t help. Much.

We take the long, slow walk up to the subway station and the down two long flights to get to the Q. At Times Square, a long walk to the end of the platform to get to the elevator. We have both missed doctor’s appointments long ago. 

And now Danielle tells me of her day. The young man Ben, working for Bill from Portland, comes to check out the tower. He covered his feet, put on a mask and went in and up,forgetting for the moment his vertigo and fear of pigeons. Made it pretty far up.

The director of Hudson Warehouse stops by again. Something here has captured his imagination...Leila is back. Berik welcoming artists for yet another show.  If only...

Zeljko’s gift to Colonel Zelko finally on its way ti the Colonel in New Hampshire.  Rachelle came in concerned about Cara. Anna has already expressed her concern and solidarity. Danielle is moved by this circle, a West-Park circle. 

RL stops in on his way to his studio. Still hoping that logic, common sense and self-interest might convince a landlord of an appropriate plan of action. One can hope. 

Time to walk down the street for dinner with Mim and Kimberley. Make plans for the coming semester and her internship. I pull myself out of my exhausted funk to think creatively. For awhile. Showing  Mim how we could reframe. Still make it work. Her support, her caring, a true gift. Here is the real example of the word gracious. 

Walking toward the bus stop, I’m thinking now if only I can let go. If only I can believe...if only....

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