Monday, February 18, 2013

Remembering Adham 2013


Today we gather for the fourth anniversary of the death of Adham Brenes. Once again, family and friends have gathered to remember joy and vitality of of a young man whose brief life touched so many so deeply.
Morning has broken

There’s technical issues so that the sideshow we wanted to see can’t be shown. And YouTube keeps having buffering issues as we try to play Cat Steven’s Morning has broken so that we all can sing along.
Arcadia shares this poem               
The Dash
by Linda Ellis copyright 1996
I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone,
from the beginning…to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.
So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before. 
If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?
rembrances of Adham

The dragonfly
We talk about the different icons of Adham’s life. What’s new is a dragonfly in a glass box created by an uncle.  A dragonfly showed up at Hugo and Arcadia’s shortly thereafter. It has come to be a common symbol for those that loved him of the presence of Adham’s spirit. 
Arcadia shows a photo of the many tattoos Adham’s friends have had done to honor him. From dragonflies to quotes to the sneakers over the phone lines image. And a young woman shows the tattoos she has just had done this week. 
There are words from friends. From relatives. From my colleague Regi who was my associate when Adham died. Regi assures us of the ongoing nature of love. n ether side of the line between life and death. And how living, in dying, we belong to God, we belong to                                                                                                                                                                                   God...
Arcadia speaks of what a long  journey it is from a mother who has lost her child, especially remembering all that was gentle, kind and good abut Adham.
When it is my turn, I recall that after our years some questions still haunt. And that I believe someday a heart will be opened and someone  will speak the Truth , will resolve the  unfinished questions that remain.
And how before Adham lived in one place, Now he is present in all the hearts  and souls in  the room and those beyond the room And that while like the little glitches in the service, indicate, life is not                                                                                          perfect. We know that all too painfully well. But what is perfect is the way that a circle of people, a community can be with us and see us through painful  times, celebrate with  us in  times of joy. And that in the midst of our community, Adham is present still. And will continue to be. 
                                                                 One Love

Others share their stories, funny stories, life affirming stories. And we all listen to and song with Bob Marley’s One Love, Adham’s signature song.

Let’s get together and feel alright...
As we sit and talk, one mother wants to know why we talk about wanting to know the  ttruth. And i explain that there are these facts don’t make sense. Answers held back.
Arcadia (Left)
And as is always the case, we go to gather in  the chapel where a feast waits. Arcadia is the embodiment of the biblical precept of hospitality. Yes, it is part of Nicaraguan culture, but it is the essence of who Arcadia is. An essence that has remained even through eat could be unbearable grief. I’ve learned  that what gets us through is remaining true to who we are, especially in the  ways that take us  outside of ourselves and connect us with others. 
As it was in the beginning (One love)
So shall it be in the end (One heart)
Alright, "Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right."
"Let's get together and feel all right."

Hug and chukd (K

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