If this is the defining moment, then what?

1/19

There is  a knocking and a rattling on the door and the day begins with Emiko. She has brought with her my neighbor Rick and her choreograher Brian to discuss plans for a benefit she is planning for April. She is meticulous in every way planning her run up to the event, how many rehearsals, what kind,etc. Her event last June was one that helped us move forward. 

Brian would love to do more dance work here. If we had a room with mirrors. Which is, of course, what Martin would liken to do, that is, create a real studio. With mirrors. 

Teddy comes in to work on a number of different projects and also to encouage me to file a police report. I have begun to get a bit annoyed with the number of projects begun and not finished, though some do have to do with internal issues of the building. 

Late in the day, Arcadia comes in to sign checks. And just to visit. And to talk about an official church wedding for she and Hugo in May. I would be very honored  to do that.  Arcadia and Danielle head out to the grocery store. I go home for a brief break.

Max has moved spokes to another venue for the night to reduce potential interference with Jane’s class.  Raphael has arrived to do security and we go over what my concerns are for the night. A neighbor with two teenaged daughters  has complained about marijuana smoking and men propositioning his daughters. That kind of thing gives me a headache.

Upstairs, I’m glad to see Susan, one of the volunteer chaplains. We talk about her work at St.Luke’s and how I enjoyed my years as a chaplain with hospice nurses. How because all of their patients were dying, that freed them from making dying the distinguishing charcteristic for any person. They were freed to be themelves, even while dying. 

We talk a little with Mary. who’s making tea. I’m still trying to figure her out. She seems to be in her midsixties. From Staten Island. Looks like she could be from any suburb. I know shw lost her job, her home, was afraid she couldn’t find anohter. I’d like to know more of  story.

I left my clergy Bible study this morning more convincd that this is the right thing.  We look at the collapse of institutions around us...the economy, the government, the church...a every level.. the present form of this world is passing away, says Paul. But if so, then what? Yes, we can say to each other this is the defining moment. But what does that demand of us? What do we do?

1/20

Mim comes to take me to lunch.We’re talking about how to create a structure so that the Center can begin to becme the manager of the different parts of the life of the building, prgrammatically, financially, and simple building management. It’s a tall order. And I desperately need help on the attorney side before the one who’s handling our liability case walks.  

Dan keeps moving in and out. Walking around. I’m still trying to get the whole story on his arrest, tangle with the police and hospitalization. Mainly we’re talking about where he can store his turn tables. But I’d like to hear more.

As the day gets late, Jason is working at his computer in the sanctuary. I tell him I still need to see all our agreements fromt the other night in writing. Max said they’d be online. No, I need them directed to me.  And a plan for the baptismal font cover.. And the two week exit strategy. And....

I know Jason is troubled by that. But I tell him that I believe that a break is necessary to have an opportunity to reboot, to put it back together with intentionality. I understand the socai experiment he sees. And that it’s already begun to work. And the idea of building in from  the marginalized. I’m not sure how to do that here. My financial viabiity is almost literally month to month. Even if the neighbors don’t call the police they can still be hostile and not support us. Besides, people have a right to be comfortable in thier own neighborhood. And other participants in the life of our building feel intimidated. Feel like I’m hitting a wall. Maybe we do need a break....