6/30
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| 125th Street |
Another day spent with the after effects of the Presbyterian General Assembly and the depth of pain experienced by people of color, especially Black women at our Assembly. Wrestling with my own defensiveness and guilt. How I could work for two months before and in strenuous writing and strategizing within Assembly and still wind up hurting people. As I listen to my excuses, I realize how white I feel. As I wind up actually reading the report of the Black women and girls task force, I understand why they feel so aggrieved. They had worked for two years and developed a stunning report which the Assembly refused to bring forward. It is filled with a rich history and analysis and strong awareness of intersectionality especially as it relates to the Black Queer and Trans communities. Black women being the marginalized of the marginalized. I checked my own emotional reactions. I realized I had wanted to be seen as a “hero.” And objectively, much was accomplished. But for many, especially younger people, all that mattered was that we had failed to hear and recognize and honor this voice.
It also caused me to reflect on my history in urban ministry. My heroes who inspired me to enter into this work. And they were indeed heroes. They risked their families, their jobs and sometime even their lives to fight for justice in the inner city. This was real. But also real is that they were all white men. White cis, straight men going into the ghetto to save the day. At the end of the day, an unescapable ethos of white saviorism that has been an undercurrent through these many years …yes, even through this Assembly.
As a strategist, I also learned that if I wanted to keep abreast of what was going on on the Assembly,I needed to keep an eye on Twitter where the real grass roots commentary was going on.
I have written my younger friends cautioning them against lingering too long in white guilt, as satisfying as that might be. For liberals, guilt is its own reward in that it allows us to remain in our privilege because after all , we’re liberals and we feel guilty so it’s okay. What’s needed is the move beyond guilt to responsibility, accountability. What then are we to do? Honestly, it is frustrating. If we move ahead, we can be criticized for not consulting. If we ask for guidance, we’re told it’s our job to figure it out. So deal….
I have spoken with my own Presbyterian Health Education and Welfare Associaton to have each of our networks examine how their particular ministry…HIV, domestic violence, reproductive options, disabilities…connects with the unique experience of Black Women and Girls. I have asked the Peace Fellowship to convene a webinar. And if need be, we who were commissioners to understand what it would take to reconvene the Assembly. This is not easy work.
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| the barbershop |
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| before |
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| after |
I get my first hair cut in three months. And a shave! There are only maybe two sensory experiences better than a barbershop shave.
I need a walk. A Philip Randolph park is open again. I see a Latino man face down in the park. Surrounded by police in masks and blue rubber gloves. And a core of black men with their phone cameras turned on to video. There is no public trust anymore. None. They try to help him up, he goes down again.Now its a job for an ambulance and EMTs. As I watch the ambulance arrive, I knew I can go.
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| ATLAH |
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| ATLAH |
I head to 125th street. All the widows have been unboarded except for the Burlington Coat Factory outlet. The ATLAH church is back at again against LGBTQ gentrifiers. The street cops game done shooters are back out. The domino players are back out.
It’s time for Taco Tuesdays at my neighborhood cantina.
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