Monday, May 5, 2014

The 13th day of Easter: Toward the Light


Friday night after performance conversation

A phone call from Danielle tells me that an old friend whose husband is a Presbyterian minister has dropped in  to say Hi, so I make my way to church as fast as I can.

It’s Sue R, a nurse back for her 30th reunion at Columbia Presbyterian along with a classmate. I remember when we were young couples together back in Pittsburgh and I baptized her son, Peter. As Micah put it, Dad put water on baby Peter’s head. Seems a lifetime ago. And it is. She reminds me of when she and her husband Tom stayed with us a few days at our old apartment. I remember a sunny walk through Riverside Park, down along the Hudson. Good people. The hard working quiet type. Sue had the temerity to answer honestly when church women asked what she wanted  years ago and paid for it. We all ran some races together. Tom and Sue help keep the world running. Living lives of faith  even when the church fails to live up to its side of the bargain.

Good to see Cara again. In to help me for awhile before her evening performance with Carman and Lotte.

Maria is part of a circle of artists. Wants to bring some artists here for a show.

Alia just wants to come in and look around.

Danielle stays around to help staff the  performance. Another presentation  of Girl of Diamond Mountain. Attendance is not what we would like it to be.  Again I travel the journey with Lotte as she goes through the trauma of abuse and comes through to look towards the light. Again I reach that point where it feels unbearable.  There is a powerful moment at the end when the two dancers intertwine and the shadow on the screen  produces an image of the two becoming one. The lost girl has finally come home. The adult woman has accepted the young girl who she was.

Lotte and Andre

This time, Carman and Lotte have brought a professional, Petah, to help mediate the conversation. Again, we explore the importance of bringing what has been hidden out. Lotte asks me to share the Thomas quote and I do:
If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.

The conversation is intense and personal. Or the first time, we explore the issues of family and forgiveness and reconciliation.  As I listen, I expand my understanding of forgiveness. That the offering of it not only frees the victim but can release the perpetrator as well. A story of how a forgiveness gave a perpetrator freedom to let go and pass over, finally at peace. Petah says that most perpetrators were victims themselves. How speaking out, like Lotte has, breaks the silence that allows the circle to continue on. This is hard stuff. 
Karin joins the conversation

 I look around the circle, a circle of light, in the darkened sanctuary. Another moment when I know this is why we are here.

As we are leaving, the Open Mic crowd is leaving. They tell me it’s been a great night. I decide to go with them and hear the story.

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