Living in coronavirusworld 176: A day with no relief

 9/26

Make America Care Again: Live and let live

An over six hour Presbytery meeting on ZOOM can leave you feeling drained and exhausted .  I got to deliver my report on being a commissioner, a representative of New York City Presbytery to the first virtual assembly last June. I spoke of the good, the bad and the ugly. The good being how the grass roots had fought and organized to open up what was to have been an hermetically sealed Assembly dealing only with necessary and essential institutional issues.  Thanks to many of hours of hard work, we were able to produce a decent statement in support of Black Lives Matter and repenting of systemic racism,  and a statement on Covid 19 as well. The bad was the Assembly’s refusal to listen to the voices from the Black Women and Girls Task Force on the unique disparities of their experience. And the ugly was the commissioner who held up a preborn lives matter sign during an 8:40  memorial fro George Floyd.  My colleagues also reported. One spoke of learning the need to listen. Another of the possibility of reconvening Assembly and how she had already spoken to represntatiess of Eastern Korean Presbytery for their support. 

The moderator of that Task Force,  the Rev. Keri Allen, gave us an in depth overview of the report. Speaking of both the invisibility and hypervisibility of Black women and girls. (As per Brionna Taylor.) Adultification and sexualization of young Black girls. The experience of institutional and interpersonal violence. Rooted in toxic theology. The need for gender equity, to move from pro-choice to reproductive justice. And how the Assembly could not bring itself to explicitly name this exploitation. Rev. Allen also named the Presbyterian Church as having been the “most prolific” of slave holding churches, its colleges, universities and seminaries built on the backs of exploited  Black women and girls. Capital stolen from Back girls’ wombs. The highest murder rate of Black trans women. The overpolicing of Black bodies. Once again I was reminded of the breadth and power of that devastating report. 

The meeting itself descended into polity chaos as approving the minutes provided the opening for a two hour fight. At root were institutional issues clearly impacted by systemic racism. It was painful to see members of the Black community attacking  each other.  It becomes increasingly clear to me that an institution that is historically and intrinsically white in culture and structure, even when bringing BIPOC persons into leadership positions, will remain captive to white domination until there is a conscious an intentional project of deconstruction of the whiteness of that culture and structure. In fact, white privilege and power will be strengthened because now it will be legitimated by the presence of BIPOC persons. Still worse, these representatives will have been made accomplices in  their own oppression. I say that with  people I care for and respect in both sides of very emotional arguments. Some of would be  very upset to read this. But that’s how insidious white privilege is. 

Happy birthday

When it’s over, I need a walk to clear my head. I see its someone’s birthday. 

Ready for the vigil

I go to the Lucerne where the One Heart Upper West Side has decorated the scaffolding pipes in preparation for a vigil to protest the mayor’s removal of the residents. 

I finish at the Gate with two musician friends. The conversation is filled  with anxiety over continued lack of work and income and the upcoming election. 

It's a day with no relief. 

Quirky, beautiful diversity

11/20/13

For the first time in weeks, months? I wake up without a sense of dread. Without that feeling in my stomach that in a moment, due to a random circumstance, misunderstanding, annoyance, or deliberate stratagem, or just plain evil, all could be gone and the story brought to an end. Hard to accept. We will be here. We will be OK.

At my morning neighborhood Bible study, one of my colleagues says, It was so wonderful, at the meeting, to see West-Park in all of its quirky, beautiful, diversity. And I accept that. Because it’s true.

Cara and Stephen drop by to review last night. Stephen was responsible to make our presentation so I was worried when he wasn’t arriving and the docket was advancing ahead of schedule. He and Cara arrived just in the nick of time. My friend Mark, arriving from the United Nations, seeing us outside said, So you’ve been put in timeout already? And we laughed and went inside.

Nan, our bookkeeper, stops by to drop off a random piece of meaningless mail that came to SPSA. What she really wants to know, and is afraid to ask, because we’ve neglected to tell her and she thinks if it was good news we would have told her what happened, is exactly that. What happened? And so I tell her, We won. The vote was 59-16. We reversed it from a 38-35 September loss to a resounding win. And that is enough for her. Her usually stoic face relaxes. And she smiles. Good, she says, good.

Carman Moore comes in. He and Lotte want to bring their piece  back only this time with an  emphasis on adult survivors of child sexual abuse. And have an open discussion time, perhaps with social workers. I’m aware that we can actually schedule events for next year. And I’m going to accept that. It’s real now.

Lauren from Project Reachout arrives with Sean in their van. They’ve got anther transitional housing placement for Sean. Who’s been in and out of the hospital all week. Maybe this time it will work. She gathers all his things except for one bag. I go out. He rolls down the window. Shakes my hand. Says thanks. All the best, I say, all the best.

Katherine from Bread and Puppet comes in. I tell her the news. She smiles. Hugs me.

Anna brings Keith in. I call my friends at Westside Federation for Senior and Supportive Housing. Immediately, an alert social worker picks up on some veterans’ angles that could help Keith out. He begins to yes but me. And I tell him that is not acceptable. He’s got to make the appointment, or I’m done. And we talk about his daughter. And how he can’t let her see him like this. And I am losing patience. That’s about you, man, not her. All she wants to do is to love you. Denying her that is about you, not a kindness to her. Suck it up, let her love you, that’s what courage is, being a man is, not some stupid pride thing. Don’t call that courage.

Another dance company comes in for a tour.

RL wants to know the results. Does he have to move his stuff to 78 below? I tell him we’re OK.

David G. in to work out details for a December concert. We can do that.

It’s a normal day. And that in itself is an amazing miracle. It could have been different. Normal is a miracle. Well, maybe not exactly.

It took hard work. It took covering all the bases. Three different meetings/committees/councils to get through. Just to get back on the docket. And then dealing with machinations and strategies of opponents. Shocking surprise maneuvers. And lots of strategizing with cool headed people. Old school organizing.  Relationships.

Going to the meeting totally prepared. Ready for any surprise.  Issue introduced by two separate committees, one re. viability, the other re. finance. Then our presentation. Danielle’s video. Stephen’s power point. A dozen of our congregation standing with us. And then the committees took over. It was them defending their report, not with us defending our right to exist. And we had passed out FAQ pages answering every question. I went to the meeting without one more email to be written and sent and not one more phone call to make. And I went onto the meeting knowing I had 50 votes, if all held. 

And the proof of organizing well done? I never spoke a word the whole meeting. Everyone else carried the fight. And we controlled the debate. Everyone prepared. Still…those moments, waiting for the vote to be counted…your life passes in front of you. And when the count is announced, it feels like grace. And you just accept it.

Learnings:

1.    Do the work. Answer all the questions. Cover every base.

2.   Old school organizing. Relationships. Phone calls. E-mails. And count the votes. My mentor Philip taught me, the problem with liberals is they don’t count the votes.

3.    Pray. And get all your friends to pray. And for those who don’t pray, think good thoughts. Direct intentions. Meditate. And pray some more.

4.    Don’t do number 3 until you’ve done 1 and 2.

Time to tell RL the details.

It's been a good night

10/18

Beppe, Bob, Carman, Mor Dior Bamba

There are always unsung heroes. Yesterday, Marc had the whole sound/recording set up ready for Carman when he arrived. By all rights, should have just stayed that way. But we had this Dinner Lab event....and in the present reality, we can’t afford to turn anything down.It had to be dismantled.  So after the Dinner Lab left, Marc was here until 2 am redoing what he had already done. And when Carman and company arrive tomorrow, no one will really know.  That kind of support is what keeps us going.

Joe and the girls are leaving as I arrive.  

Debra and her crew from Dinner Lab are very happy with last night’s event. And they might even hire Stephen and Cara to play another event.

Our new Presbytry Exec Bob Foltz-Morrison comes for a visit. Wants to see the whole place. For himself. Understand the story first hand, not second hand. Help us think through our situation as wisely and completely as we can. Bob is new on the job. But on first impression, he looks to be approaching everything as a fresh slate without preconditons. He comes across as unassuming and down to earth but with a pastor’s heart, that is able to express a sense of personal caring and support above and beyond any political considerations. He comes across as one who starts with caring and then can move easily to analysis. It seems that contendng forces are giving him a honeymoon until he gets his feet firmly on the goubd. May it continue. 

While we’re talking Luli comes in, with her dancer’s easy movement, her long silver hair braided. She has an armoir to donate to the church.

Deacon James comes in. Another chemo on the agenda. Bob is seeing what life is like here day to day. Stephen takes him on a tour of the church house so he can fully understand the deal we are working on and why the two parts are so closely bound together. 

Al the tables packed up and gone. 

Midafternoon Joe and the girls are back. The have actually taken my advice and gone to Euclid Hall (Westside Federation for Senior and Supportive Housing http://www.wsfssh.org/) looking for assistance. Seems they need a recommendation.

Carman’s preshow rehearsal well underway. Danielle’s student Daisy’s father and uncle are enthralled with the rehearsal. Danielle invites them for the show.

Berik and Leila have another opening, Inspiration from Imagination....visitors are arriving.

Because Marc is recording the concert, there’ll be no Open Mic tonight. Disappointed players, instruments in hand, depart sadly though some stay. Especially Dion the comedian who is quickly drawn into the performance.

It’s another fine night for Carman. His Righteous Heroes features an extended high vocal improvisation by  Senegalese singer Mor Dior Bamba, his voice floating, dancing above everything else.

Danza Sagrada by Kenneth Bichel evokes the rain forest of Mexico and further south and the sacred jaguar makes his appearance. 

Finally, Carman's Quiet Place brings my friend Beppe back with his Tibetan bowls and Catarina’s projections. And dancer Kiori Kawaii moving through the projections. Carman is an eclectic globally open musician with a wide collection of artists inspired by his vision. Collaborators have come from as far away as Mexico and Denmark to be part of this festival. It's interesting to compare  what he does with  Milica. It's like Carman is a pioneer, one generation before. It has been one fine night. 

As we clean up, Joe and the gang are returning. And George has reappeared. I give him a warm greeting as Beppe leaves. 

Yes, it’s been a good night.