A meeting in Phoenix,a good day for Zeljko

3/7

i am I Phoenix with my colleagues from the Presbyterian Health, Education and Welfare Association. Our networks cover  all the areas that touch West-Park in its daily life:

• Addictions
• AIDS
• Serious Mental Illness
• Disabilities
• Community Transformation
• Domestic violence
• Criminal Justice
• Specialized ministries (chaplains)
• Reproductive Options
• Child Advocacy

And we now have a request from the Homeless network seeking affiliation. I have been part of this community for 36 years. for better and worse. It is among these people I first saw a vision of church that was not just an idea but a reality. That vision has guided everything I have done in ministry over all these years. Our defining Bible  verse is Micah 6: 6-8

“With what shall I come before the Lord,
    and bow myself before God on high?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
    with calves a year old?

7 

Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams,
    with ten thousands of rivers of oil?
Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression,
    the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?”

8 

He has told you, O mortal, what is good;
    and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
    and to walk humbly with your God?

            * * * * 

It is a good day for Zeljko. Today the Quad Cinemas in Manhattan signed the Second Meeting for a week long run in May and the New York Times has agreed to come and review the film. What he needs to be Oscar eligible. The next week he will have an opening in Los Angeles. This is God News.

             * * * * 

Strange to be in 80’ or more weather here when I know its still cold and wet back in New York. Wish I could sit across our dining room table and have a Budweiser with Zeljko.

It took the whole team

3/5

The day after. 

Anna and puppy come by. She’s been sick. And so missed worship and Bible study, which I tell her was postponed. As always she is spreading her mother hen wings out wide, with particular concern for Cara. Even if she may get some details wrong, the compassion, the feeling, the intention and most of the action is right. 

I’m very tense trying to figure out if I can leave for a meeting in Phoenix or not. A phone call tells me that the cost of changing a ticket is prohibitive. 

Jamie is hungry and ready for lunch. So we go to Popover’s, reviewing last night. We did well. We have a vision. We have a plan. We have a budget that seems to work. Survival, but it works. And a way to fund it. Even if not perfect, even if not what we want, it can work. We did well.

The point is, the hard work paid off. The point is it took the whole team, every person, had to do their own part. Mim, Jamie, Marsha, Ted, Arcadia, Hugo, Stephen. All. The advance work with decision makers, individual Presbytery trustees, key people, paid off. In the actual meeting, they became our advocates. And all that’s left is a run by presbytery’s chosen real estate people, which Jamie can handle, and the actual negotiation. We have reversed a narrative, opened a path. A big step. 

Preparation, presentation, practice....is everything.

Jamie and I meet with Martin. Go through the church. Thinking about options. Long term options. Can it work? We all clearly want to be partners in this  enterprise. We must  make it work.

RL sees things beginning to turn around. Piece by piece. Winning at least one battle. I tell him Zeljko would like to film some archives...video, pictures...RL's also got old posters. 

Shelley, one of those who have been a part of Dzieci, part of the healing circle comes in. His several projects she would like to do. Including a bamboo jacket dinner. It’s all about timing. And space.

Three visitors from Italy come in  to see the sanctuary. Bella, bella, they say. I give them the architectural/social history rap. The man of the trio translates. Stephen says we’ve got to get Zeljko to do a film of the tour so that we can out it online. And train docents. 

Jamie thinks it just might be possible for me to get away. Talk with Stephen about what needs to happen while I’m gone. Sandy relief. Zeljko’s film. Stephen too feels good about the meeting. I feel a combination of conflicting feelings. I almost cry when i see the patially revealed word on the chapel wall, ...blood....Will I ever see it all? But I’ll stay with feeling good about how we came off in the meeting. What we learned about team work and what it might mean for the future. 

David Michalek comes in to pick up his Fourteen Stations photos from our pigeon room. He's got a hazmat suit and a mask.  The Stations are headed for an exhibition at Yale. Jamie’s on her way back to talk with David.  What would it take to get David in the house, too?

Just enough time to race home and pack. Is there enough time to make the plane? 

Time has arrived

3/4

Time to go down and meet Don at the Edison and catch up with him on his travels to China and the progress of his Disenchanted  play edging its way closer to off-Broadway. Just about this time last year he had his backer’s audition at West-Park, magiclally transforming the sanctuary into home for his Disney princesses in revolt.

Back at the office, all attention focused on tonight’s meeting with Presbytery officials. People at their respective offices working in budget revisions, economic long term strategies. Martin anxious to talk. We’re waiting for someone. And waiting. He’s got a meeting with agents to plan bookings.

I’m trying to focus and finish an overview of Vision, Context and Legacy for the West-Park church. Have to keep refocussing. Keeping narrow view. Concision. Finally get it done.

People arriving. Bringing their pieces. Jamie with the folders and the big stuff. yet one more time through the budget. Yes, we can just make it. We’re trying to collate. RL looks in, well, not a good time. He tips his hat, says Bye. A little while later, the seer, the crazy man with the cowboy hat and the intense eyes looks in. Can’t. Not now.... 

I’ve been sent to you by God....

Not now.

I thought you’d be free at tbe end of the day. 

Not this one.

I will return again. Thank you for your openness. God’s message awaits....

All right then.

Marsha goes out for coffee. Stephen brings sandwiches. Time for a run through. They like my overview. OK. Time to run down to 85 Copy and get it reproduced. Back again. The budget printout is too small. Now Jamie’s turn. Down and back. Now the final collating.

Marsha notices something. The wrong budget. Here we go again. 

Time is running short. Time to run out, grab cabs, head to 475. Time has arrived. 

Third Sunday in Lent: when you sing Rock of Ages in Spanish, the chords are still the same

3/3

Cara there waiting when I arrive. Ready to do whatever is needed. Everything will eb swept clean before anyone else arrives.  Stephen is on his way down. And Glen and Tony arrive shortly thereafter with unleavened matzoh and Kedem concord for communion.  I ask Marc to borrow a guitar because I feel like playing and start to work a few songs out with Stephen. When you sing Rock of Ages in Spanish, (Roca de la eternidad) the chords are still  the same.

There is no particular mention of these incidents anywhere in secular histories. Galilee, was of course, the  home of rebels, outsiders...Yet the fact that there is no mention of tis event is not surprising because it is so typical of Pilate that it is hardly worth mentioning. Keep that in mind when we later read of  Pilate washing his hands in relation to what happens to Jesus. The operating assumption here is that that if something bad happened to you, you deserved it...Same with the other story, where the tower collapses right outside of the  Jerusalem gate...Like those New York City  crane incidents, you know? Wa someone negligent?  Are there liability issues here?

In both instances te answer seems to be,well, stuff happens...

Then what follows, sounds like finger pointing....but if you don’t repent...?  You will perish just as they did.... that seems to reverse what came before...

Let’s look at the word Repent. In Greek the word is metanoia....the exact opposite of paranoia.. It maenas to change one’s mind, shift one’s thoughts, turn away, turn around, go in a new direction...

What are we turning from? Turning to? In a study session at Union, one of my clergy colleagues tells the story of her son wth a learning disability. You can’t tell him to stop doing something without an alternative start. What do we find?

• The issue iis not why, it is will you repent, turn around, begin again...
• We are all going to die, sooner or later
• Life is short, you have to take advantage of it, what are you going to do with it?
• What will you do with what you have left?

These are all questions for us to wrestle with/

And now the arc comes around.  Finally, we have the  fig tree, manure....Like the reference to three years...not a long time for a fig tree. It can take that long..or longer..to grow a fig....but notice that it is the length of Jesus’ ministry...As with all of Jesus’ parables, we have to ask ourselves,  Who are we in this story? Owner, gardner, fig tree?  even the manure? So we began with, ah, stuff, and we finish with manure...full circle...

So we ask ourselves, what is the manure needed to nurture the tree? The manure needed in our lives? Needed in our congregation?  I love this. Nothing earthier than manure. What’s going  on here is that it is that which we need to get rid of in our lives might actually be what we need to nurture and grow int owhat we are supposed to be. Our worst traits can be transformed into gifts. It’s all in what we do with it. 

This is what Lenten reflexions are all about. 

I begin the Communion service by reading the story if the first communion  we read from Mark last Monday in Bible study.  I play guitar and Stephen the piano. As we finish the service, we gather to share what Glen has brought and others added to. Zeljko arrives and people are glad to see him. 

We meet to plan each of our parts for the Monday night meetign coming up with Presbytery. By the time I leave, there’s only an hour and a half before Zeljko’s screening.

• * * *

The sanctuary choir is still rehearsing when we arrive. Marc has lots of set up to do. Things not quite right. Cara and i ar stepping out when a wild eyed man with gray hair and a beard and a cowboy hat approaches. Seen how before.Comes off like  a mixture of a traveling salesman and a seer which is a sign. He wants to talk about pyramids. And owls. And ducklings. And fire. Cara catches the energy and quickly slips away. He’s been sent by God to talk to me...(dude, you’re not the first...) I explain it’s not a good time. Come tomorrow. I’m afraid he just might....

We don’t have the equipment to show the trailer, so it’s on with the movie. I’ll marry the whole village...Zeljko’s docufairytale about a man who wants to take creation all the bachelors in a small town near his hoem city of Nis. it’s a small, very small crowd. Glad Hugo and Arcadia came. RL stops in.  Of course, Rachelle has ccome too...Still need  to do better before  next Friday’s screening...

This one has been real

3/1

Early morning meeting to go the bank. Someone has come through. As a sign of confidence that we will come through. It is frustrating and exhausting living with your back against the wall...still out on the tightrope without any net...but just in the nick of time, one more time, we made it. 

Head downtown to midtown to talk with a couple who wants to get married.

Spend time with Marc editing sermons so that we can post  them. And also listening to some of the music from the open mic night. 

Get the service done in Friday for once so we can print it out right at the office, 

Look up and see Rachel and her daughter Nadia  have come into the church. It’s really good to see her. She’s one of the most vital 90 year olds I know. It's been really hard for her to be confined to her home after a series of falls and resulting dizziness. In our last conversation (last night) she told me her favorite work time was being in charge of the night nursing staff at a hospital. The wide variety of cases that would come in in the middle of the night. She and Nadia are off for a hair appointment. I’m very happy she came in. First time in a very long time. 

Cara’s stories of adventure coast to coast would fill a book, but they are for her to tell. She has become an essential part of the support system 

Martin and I are not finding the answer we are looking for.  Maybe one more phone call?

Zeljko returns tonight.

3/2

Stephen and  I put posters up around the building announcing a screening of Zeljko’s “I Will Marry the Whole Vilaage” for Sunday night.  Then we prepare the table and sanctuary for tomorrow morning. It’s good to have it all ready. Glen will bring the bread and juice tomorrow.

Meet Jane for coffee to catch her u to date. Then back to the church to work with her on an issue with one of her congregants. Use some of what I learned from the Mennonites. It actually works....

I look in on a great Saturday afternoon kids’ class Noche has going. Great mixed group of little ones. Exactly what we want. It’s so frustrating. Martin and I commiserating.

Thing is some visions are just that visions, good ideas, nothing concrete...but for the last eighteen months, this vision has bee real. Has actually been happening. The unexpected intersections of unlikely people. The intersecting of beauty and justice, ethics and aesthetics. And opportunities for theological reflection and spiritual exploration in everything. Money. Money...... 

Halfway There

2/26

Only one thing on our mind today...preparing for our presentation on program and budget before a presbytery committee this afternoon at Jamie's office. We  work all day getting very detail down. Thee cannot be any loose ends.

Our appearance with our Manhattan Together’s Mayoral Candidate’s Forum is now clearly in jeopardy. I give Stephen a ticket so that he is ready to represent us. He will try to recruit Martin. Cara is sweeping away. Can tell I’m preoccupied. Tries to cheer me up. Mentions New Orleans. Sends me into a reverie. Remembering my work there, but more so, the music. I go to the Youtube of Meschiya Lake and the Little Big Horns doing Lucky Devil.  Good preparation for a meeting. 

We leave together. And pass Jane on the street on the way to the train. 

2/27

Danielle and I in a desperate attempt to find sufficient money to keep the lights on. Down to the wire. And I tell her of last night’s three and a half hour meeting. And eventual success. Jamie. Marsha. Mim. Me. A good team. Vision. Budget. Plan.  Strategy. And somehow on the edge.

My friend Beppe comes by with his friend Carman. A conductor. A composer. The Sky Music Ensemble. Formerly in residence at Judson Memorial. And St. John the Divine. Lincoln Center commissions. He’s blown away by the acoustics. Has a vision of a composition built on Beppe’s singing bowls. Wants to make it happen.

Beppe and I head to the B to discuss. 

When I get back, the Course on Miracles is hard at work. I could use a few. 

2/28

Martina and I go to the Dead Poet trying t find a solution. Wishing Teddy were there like he was last Thanksgiving to help us find it. (If your’e there, join in, we need you...)

Cara and Anna in tandem again. There it is: acceptance, inclusion, mutuality. Anna territorial and protective of those she cares for.

I greet Willa on the street. Tell her I want to see her in  church.

Mim comes in again. And comes through again. As always. For Danielle and I her  caring pastoral touch sustains us through the most difficult times. 

RL stops in in hsi way to his office. I need to drop by. Let him know we’re halfway to our goal. The knot in my stomach halfway untied

Dzieci is in the sanctuary. Passion play on the way.. 

Yes...we’re halfway there...

When I study I feel close to God

2/25

For the record...the Open Mic ended with RL doing a Yakima benediction with Amanda on flute...

Purim is ending..last day to buy hamentaschen. At Barney Greengrass, Gary wants to share his naches, ie, joy...He shows me his pictures of his son in his Purim costume, Hulk Hogan WWE style perched on Gary’s head. I show him my three boys. Two dads. Naches...

Martin is still trying to figure out how to make this work. Mim stops in to see how we’re doing  and stay on top of where we are. The mumbling man drops by. And of course hits me up for money, just one last time.   

Good turnout for Bible study tonight. We dig deeper into Mark 14. The betrayal by Judas Iscariot. How Iscariot means assassin, one of the Iscarii, a group of underground revolutionary killers. Wondering how he got there. What was the story of his call? Was he a boyhood friend? Did he seek Jesus out? Wanting ti see if he was a true leader? Or...?

Then the story of Jesus celebrating the Passover with his disciples. A holiday celebrating the passover of the angel of death. Of the journey out of bondage in Egypt into freedom. With the man carrying a jar evidence of a well organized underground cell group leading to the upper room in a safe house. 

Jesus prediction of a betrayal. The mystery of that. If this needed to be, had to be, what was the problem? This holiday would normally be celebrated with family.  Here Jesus is with a family of choice, not birth. Intimacy and solidarity. Betrayal the greatest breaking of solidarity. And still....

It seems to be about choice and consequences. Judas fascinates us. Popular culture like Kazantzakis, like Jesus Christ Superstar, has him a friend of Jesus. Is it disappointment? The sense that Jesus is letting down the revolution? A liability? The recently discovered Gospel of Judas makes this a duty that only a very special one can take on.

What does Jesus’ comment It would be better for that one not to have been born mean? If Jesus is fully human, he must experience the full range of human emotions for this experience to mean anything. He must feel the anguish if emotion. He does not choose martyrdom. He chooses faithfulness and follows that where it will lead. Even within the narrative’s inevitability, there is this sense of choice and its cost. 

In his creating the Lord’s Supper, he riffs on the Passover story. Instead of looking back in memory, he turns our eyes forward.  He will be the passover lamb sacrificed for our freedom, so that the angel of death will not triumph. By joining with him, we choose a life even if it means death. It's not about heaven, Not about  a reward. It is about now.  A choice that because it frees us from fear breaks the power of death. As Zwingli said, it is not the bread and wine that is transformed but we ourselves, the people, who become the body of the ever living Christ. And with that, Jesus begins a fast of solidarity that will last until his death. 

Fred Hampton

Finally, Jesus predicts they will all turn away, desert him. The powers clearly believing that if they take out the head, the rest will fall away. On the one hand, we remember the FBI's systematic killing of Black Panther leadership in 1969 beginning with Fred Hampton. On the other, we remember Oscar Romero saying If God accepts the sacrifice of my life, may my death be for the freedom of my people.  A bishop will die, but the Church of God, which is the people, will never perish.

Oscar Romero

I do not believe in death without resurrection.  If they kill me I will rise again in the people of El Salvador.

Of course, rash impetuous Peter refuses to believe this will happen. And Jesus tells him he will be wrong. Three times wrong. 

I am beginning to believe in the true radicality of Jesus’ way. Something deeper than ideology. Something deep as life itself.

I went into the study tired and depressed. I came out refreshed. I remember John Dominc Crossan when asked if he prayed, hesitating and then saying No, but I study. And when I study, I feel close to God.