Carman Moore's (occasional) festival

10/20

Lotte, Bob, Carman

Carman Moore’s second night of his festival was revelatory. It opened up two very different sides of his musical landscape that were not experienced Friday night. Unexpected and powerful.

The night began with Girl of the Diamond Mountain, a song cycle created and performed by Carman and Lotte Arnsbjerg. Lotte’s performance actually explored the territory between music and performance art. The piece also included projections by Catrina Bertolotto and at the dramatic conclusion, a return appearance by dancer Kiori Kawai.

More important was the subject, an exploration of sexual abuse of children and the struggle for identity and wholeness that follows. The music was simple, spare, understated. The experience harrowing. One had to trust the the creators and commit to following through all the way to the end in the hopes that there would be new life at the end. Ms. Arnsbjerg’s work is nothing short of courageous.

Her imagery in words and Ms. Bertolotto's  visual imagery evoked the themes of baptism, the metaphor of dying in the water only to be reborn new. 

The power of the piece, and its tragic truth, was revealed in the number of people who came to Ms. Arnsbjerg, embraced her and said that she had captured their story, almost verbatim. 

I remembered my colleague in ministry in Los Angeles, Ann Hayman, founder of the Mary Magdalene Project, a residential ministry of life renewal for prostitutes. How she told me that over 90% of the prostituted women she worked with had been victims of childhood sexual abuse, most often by members of their own family. And I remembered another colleague who had struggled with years of promiscuity and alcoholism before dealing with her own childhood experience of incest. And my friend, Jed who for years ran the Larkin Street Center in San Francisco’s Tenderloin district, working with runaway(throw away, in Jed’s words) youth. Again, the same story. 

At the end of the piece, an audience member stood and asked that we have a moment of silence for Avonte Oquendo, the young autistic boy who has been missing for over two weeks now with  a massive search continuing.  (There is at least one other poster of a missing autistic young man in our neighborhood, a photo, and in Spanish, perdido, ie, lost.)

This is exactly what we are trying to do here. Open up difficult subjects, explore them through art and spiritual reflection. Honor the courage of those willing to go there.

My only regret was that Danielle's student Daisy and her family had come expecting what they had heard in rehearsal. Clearly not what they had come for. They left before intermission, Danielle crafting an apologetic note  in Spanish. 

The Eks Jazz Trio +

After intermission followed what was a world class all-star jazz jam with the likes of the Eks Jazz Trio (C. Eric Johnson, Kyle Jones and F.Carter Hoodless) with Premik Russell Tubbs and Charles Burnham sitting in. Tough to find better in the city any night.

So the two nights gave us an insight into a musician who truly knows no boundaries. For Carman Moore, as they say in New Orleans, it’s all music. With his eclectic global vision, integration of visual art and dance, improvisation, boundary crossing and expression of ethics with esthetics, Carman Moore is one of those unassuming pioneers who make new possibilities realities. His weekend was truly a festival.

It’s good to make our house a home for his work,his spirit.

As we lock up, Joe and the gang are arriving.

It's been a good night

10/18

Beppe, Bob, Carman, Mor Dior Bamba

There are always unsung heroes. Yesterday, Marc had the whole sound/recording set up ready for Carman when he arrived. By all rights, should have just stayed that way. But we had this Dinner Lab event....and in the present reality, we can’t afford to turn anything down.It had to be dismantled.  So after the Dinner Lab left, Marc was here until 2 am redoing what he had already done. And when Carman and company arrive tomorrow, no one will really know.  That kind of support is what keeps us going.

Joe and the girls are leaving as I arrive.  

Debra and her crew from Dinner Lab are very happy with last night’s event. And they might even hire Stephen and Cara to play another event.

Our new Presbytry Exec Bob Foltz-Morrison comes for a visit. Wants to see the whole place. For himself. Understand the story first hand, not second hand. Help us think through our situation as wisely and completely as we can. Bob is new on the job. But on first impression, he looks to be approaching everything as a fresh slate without preconditons. He comes across as unassuming and down to earth but with a pastor’s heart, that is able to express a sense of personal caring and support above and beyond any political considerations. He comes across as one who starts with caring and then can move easily to analysis. It seems that contendng forces are giving him a honeymoon until he gets his feet firmly on the goubd. May it continue. 

While we’re talking Luli comes in, with her dancer’s easy movement, her long silver hair braided. She has an armoir to donate to the church.

Deacon James comes in. Another chemo on the agenda. Bob is seeing what life is like here day to day. Stephen takes him on a tour of the church house so he can fully understand the deal we are working on and why the two parts are so closely bound together. 

Al the tables packed up and gone. 

Midafternoon Joe and the girls are back. The have actually taken my advice and gone to Euclid Hall (Westside Federation for Senior and Supportive Housing http://www.wsfssh.org/) looking for assistance. Seems they need a recommendation.

Carman’s preshow rehearsal well underway. Danielle’s student Daisy’s father and uncle are enthralled with the rehearsal. Danielle invites them for the show.

Berik and Leila have another opening, Inspiration from Imagination....visitors are arriving.

Because Marc is recording the concert, there’ll be no Open Mic tonight. Disappointed players, instruments in hand, depart sadly though some stay. Especially Dion the comedian who is quickly drawn into the performance.

It’s another fine night for Carman. His Righteous Heroes features an extended high vocal improvisation by  Senegalese singer Mor Dior Bamba, his voice floating, dancing above everything else.

Danza Sagrada by Kenneth Bichel evokes the rain forest of Mexico and further south and the sacred jaguar makes his appearance. 

Finally, Carman's Quiet Place brings my friend Beppe back with his Tibetan bowls and Catarina’s projections. And dancer Kiori Kawaii moving through the projections. Carman is an eclectic globally open musician with a wide collection of artists inspired by his vision. Collaborators have come from as far away as Mexico and Denmark to be part of this festival. It's interesting to compare  what he does with  Milica. It's like Carman is a pioneer, one generation before. It has been one fine night. 

As we clean up, Joe and the gang are returning. And George has reappeared. I give him a warm greeting as Beppe leaves. 

Yes, it’s been a good night.

Everything happens for a reason

10/17

Early morning and the load in is beginning for Dinner Lab. It’s an expression  of the whole new food as art, food as entertainment,trend. Tonight they will use the sanctuary  for their cocktail hour and Mc Alpin as their site for  3 seatings,  full course  dinners. They  go around all over the city looking  for intriguing  venues..and we definitely fit that. The load in will take all day.

Dinner Lab first seating

OK, so Sean continues to hold his position on the street. Yesterday, after he left, it took the rubber gloves and a snow shovel to clean up and out. Today, after charging his battery, he will be on his way. But first, he asks to use the facilities. I watch with a sense of poignancy and admiration as he makes his way up four steps then all the way down 15 to the basement on his knees. His determination, persistence, can’t help but move.

He wheels himself to the front of the church. I pull the extension cord out and hook him up. I turn to go and he says, Hey Bob, wait a minute. I got to tell you something. I  know how hard it is to clean up after me. I know the mess I leave you. I just can’t deal with it. But you deal with it, and you don’t trouble me. I don’t get it. I know I’m bipolar. Like i’m two people. And my bad self acts up, gets bad. And you still accept me...

Stephen overhears and says, That’s what we do here. It’s acceptance. It’s forgiveness. Jesus, you know?

Sean says, Most of the time, it’s frustration. That and embarrassment. Just want to be invisible. If you didn’t help me that day, wanted to wheel myself into the middle of the street. But you know, everything happens for a reason. That day you got upset, when I was there 24 hours, you wanted me to go. You were worried. If I wsn’t there, I woulda been up there, he points north, where the gun fight was. Bullets don’t ask no names. Maybe I be dead. Everything happen for  reason. God want me here.

We talk about his wanting to go to a program. Long enough to get well. Give him enough rest for the swelling to go down. And then he wheels off.

Karen comes in to play, but finds Carman Moore and his Sky Orchestra hard at work for their concert to tomorrow night. Jeremy stops into listen. Weighing upcoming events. Possible gigs in Switzerland. 

Beppe stops in after his rehearsal. We share two wheat beers. Conversation. 

Berik has just a few more paintings to hang. The cocktail hour for the Dinner Lab begins.And Stephen and Cara are handling the cocktail hour music. A first for both of them. And handling it well. 

Anniversary time for RL and Harvey. 32 years. There is something there to admire. And celebrate. 

And good news

10/16

Ted Mapes, Sr. 

A day with no breathing space. Finally get to the church after the Labor Assistance Professionals luncheon in Queens Village, a visit to the eye doctor and  meeting at my friend Elise’s Advent church.

Important to accept good things. the Labor Assistance Professionals group is an organization of people doing work with union people with primarily drug and alcohol issues. They gave one of their two annual awards to West-Park for our support of working people and working to heal the brokenness. And of our support for the 99%.

Speaking to the LAP group

Refreshing to be at a meeting of people with jackets and ties who are committed to labor, to progressive ideals and who actually supported out work with #OWS. And who start their meeting with the pledge to the flag. And I did the invocation. 

Teddy’s father was one of the cofounders. And he thanked us for saving his son. Tearing up at his memory. And I of course still miss him. His union, the Steamfitters, there in force. A good union, says Tina. She reminds me it was ten months since he died. Feels like longer. And also like he’s just around the corner. 

Late in the afternoon, RL comes by and invites me up to the studio. His friend Luba Dvorak (yes that one,yes he is...) is visiting. Just back from his west coast tour. They play for and with each other. Years ago Luba produced RL’s CD. The music is free and loose. And totally connected to each other intuitively.  Luba’s fingers smooth and easy on the strings. His music edging more country than I remember back in the P&G days. The finish with RL’s Pinto, Luba’s San Diego song and of course, Stay Awhile. The San Diego song has what RL calls Luba’s best line: I feel like a Bible salesman in a stolen suit. (http://www.lubadvorak.com/home.html)

Lindsey and Brett back for one last session. Tonight we talk about how do they fight. And the difference between forgiveness, the letting go, the giving up for all time the hope for s different past; and reconciliation, the engaged process of reconstructing a relationship. How I wish sometimes I could go back and start over. But you can’t.

A woman comes in. Asks if this is a catholic church. Answer: no.

Before the night is over, I’ll have another challenging couples’ counseling session. It’s emotional;y draining when you really allow yourself feel the complex dynamics of another relationship. And important to know your  own boundaries. 

There’s some commotion outside. There’s large shopping carts overflowing with bags of cans and bottles blocking the sidewalk. I shrug and say, What’s up with this? And the angry man gets up in my face. Doesn’t like the way I asked the question. I should have asked it different. I didn’t show respect. You should have said, excuse me sir, can you please move this? 

Doesn’t matter.You can’t block the road.

It’s not the road, it’s the sidewalk.

You’re parsing words. Still can’t block it.

And then he goes off, eyes blazing, breathing heavy.Doing the whole you don’t know what it’s like to be homeless, not everyone's same, not everyone is so lucky, you have a warm bed...I’m waiting for isn’t this a church?

On the one hand, trying to guilt me here won’t work. This gang is hard. Younger. Tougher looking. Almost intimidating. Don’t give me the homeless guilt trip. On the other hand, I am losing my patience. Very tired. Need to not give in to cynicism.

Apparently there was a shooting

10/15

Apparently there was a shooting. Sometime after the bad couple, shots rang out on the street between 87th and 88th. Just like the old  days. Reports have a  middle aged white male in critical condition. Despite all the gentrification, Tiamat, the sea monster of chaos, never too far below the surface.

Sean is still  lying against the wall on 86th Street. Only semi-responsive.

Everyone is gone except mean Ben. Stephen asks him to leave. When we look back, he’s simply moved to to the narrow space between us and Barney Greengrass.  Stephen tells him, no that doesn’t work. He moves on. Considers 86th Street. Stephen says, No. He nods his head in the direction of  Sean. Different. He throws down his cardboard. Sets a record for short time fuck yous and continues on down 86th.

Henry and Naomi are here to talk about presbytery and strategy. We have to cover every complaint. Every misunderstanding. All the false narrative. And figure  out how to move  forward. The way begins to emerge.

Critical  to this discussion is  an understanding of our transformational model of church  growth. I talk about a discussion with Ray Jones, the PCUSA’s evangelism staff person last April with the the Presbyterian Mission Agency Board.  The essence is this:

In the past, affiliation began with a belief.  Based on that,people learned to behave in certain ways. Then, after passing all the tests, they would join and become members, belong.

Today’s model is different. It begins with an invitation to behave, to act in a certain way.To join in an activity that could change the world or change the person. To become part of the community, belong.  And then, at the end, maybe, belief. 

At the same meeting, a young person was asked what they wanted. And what  he said was, it’s not about music or style of worship or anything like that. What we want to see is radical discipleship. When asked to define that he said, we know it when we see it. (In the words  of St. Francis of Assisi, preach often, use words when necessary.)

The crux of this is that West-Park needs to create activities to invite people to participate in. Then work at connecting them to the community. Maybe after that  can come belief We need to define what those activities are. And what the demands of membership, radical discipleship, means for us. 

That's how we see our model. What we have  been doing but freed of the  constant struggle for survival, finally  able to flourish.

Henry and Naomi have believed in us and worked with us from the start, seeking to facilitate  our mission, not act like gatekeepers. 

Before we started, the Con Ed green man was looking for Danielle. when she didn't arrive, he  left. Then green man 2 showed up, looking  for his partner .Only having just lost his phone. He asks to borrow one of ours so he can  call his partner.  He will reappear several more times before the morning is over. 

Karen has come and gone leaving  behind some fresh  cleaning supplies. 

There is something  very reassuring about  life watching Danielle work with Daisy. Helping her master the mystery of English. The subject doesn't matter in the end. Watching them together, there is a sense of supposed to be.

El encuentro

10/14

Sean. Back again. Not prepared to deal with this yet.

It’s the Columbus Day Holiday. Not for me. in the progressive world, there’s this high minded effort to change this to indigenous people's day. I get that. Columbus was the beginning of the imperial conquest of this hemisphere. In places like Puerto Rico, entire native populations like the Tainos were wiped out, just gone. 

However, it’s more complicated than that. During the years I worked in Central America, the peasants, the campesinos, referred to this day as el dia de la raza, the day of the race. And also as el encuentro, the encounter. When Europe encountered America. And a whole new race, a whole new people was born. The vast majority of Latin American peasants, campesinos, are mestizo. Oppressed by the Ladinos, the so called limpieza de sangre, pure blood, who in truth are not, but so the line is drawn. In many cases, the tainos and so many other indigenous peoples live on in  today’s campesinos mestizos. So you can’t ignore them in this discussion. El encuentro makes a lot of sense, no matter how it came about, a new reality was brought into being. You can’t roll that back.

Carman Moore comes in with posters for his weekend festival. Marc is getting ready to record him.

Sean is still there. I ask him his plan. He seems asleep. I’ve got other things  to deal with.

Like the bald man, who excuse the analogy, looks like the old guy on the back in the day Uncle Ben’s Rice box. Only mean. He’s on the steps with a load of cardboard. Stephen asks him to leave. He does so. And the cardboard is left behind. 

After a late appearance at 78 Below, I’m back to the church. A couple is constructing some kind of shelter in the 86th Street door. I say excuse me, you can’t block the door. There’s a white guy, sloppy heavy and long haired. An attractive blond woman. Ain’t this a church? he says. I get so tired of this. Yes...I say, so...

You know, sanctuary, whoever, whenever?

Yeah, but you can’t block the door. 

So we know what kind of church you are.

Just sayin’, can’t block the door..you try out front, I think there’s a space there...

Nothin’ but niggers there, man, you think I want my girl raped? Ah, so that’s where this is going.

I point to the side. Not sleeping there, says the blond.

I go back inside. Stephen’s there. We open the door together. What are you lookin’ at? says the blond, don’t look at us...makes me uncomfortable.

Ah, he gets off on it,says the guy.

I should just let it pass, but I respond. No...I...don’t...I’m responsible. All I said was don’t block the door...

Jesus. You talk about Jesus. I guess Jesus did me a solid tonight. Yeah, Jesus..

Just sayin’, don’t block the door.

Oh yeah? We’re leavin’. Jesus. Jesus..... And as they start down the street, he turns around and says over his shoulder, Jesus can suck my girlfriend’s dick. And I just stare. Can’t even begin to exegete that one.

Just then Jeremy wheels up on his bike. Everything OK? And I tell him the story of the bad couple. He looks at me. Shrugs his shoulders. Long night of rehearsal. Was going to come down to 78 Below. Didn’t. 

Peace, Jeremy.

And he’s off again on his bike. 

It’s enough. Enough.

Even if it's in Yonkers

10/12

A bright and beautiful morning.Stephen is already here to greet me. Anna and puppy arrive soon too. That’s what brings me joy on a Sunday morning. People here to meet me when I arrive. 

The congregation gathers. This is a good day. People keep arriving. The circle keeps expanding. Dion, the comedian is back again. He’s almost a regular. Travels an hour from the Bronx to be here. The Fridy night Open Mic has become a family for him. And now Sunday morning too. That’s the synergy we speak of.

Soon son Dan arrives in his Steeler jersey. Our home town team in to play the Jets. We will be leaving soon. I’m proud that Pat and Glen are ready to lead services even as I have to be elsewhere.

Today is an important day. It’s Adham Brenes’ birthday. He would have been 22 today. Six years later, the tragic, unnecessary absence still hurts. All afternoon, young people will stop by Hugo and Arcadia’s just to be present. But this  morning they are with their church. Our hearts will be wit them all day long. And Adham is still with us.

Later, after a day with family ending with Chinese food in Chelsea, I’m back. I hear voices raised outside on the steps. I go out to find Joe storming off. I try to speak to him but he’s gone. His girl friend says he’s angry. I tell her they’ve got to chill. Rob is already asleep. (Why is he here? Why would you choose to sleep outside  on the steps when you have  a place  to go, even if it's in Yonkers?)

Time it head home.