Living in coronavirusworld 63: Not just numbers. Not just names. People.

5/24

Not just  numbers. Not just names. People.

Today is Eid, the celebration of the end of Ramadan.  Most of the Yemeni owned neighborhood delis are closed. The one day a year they close. Last week, I think I found the original Yemeni deli on Columbus. Sign said tow brothers started it with stand 30 years ago. The one brother set out to expand the business. In any case, it's close to a  lock in West  Harlem. I will have to go further for my Sunday paper.

When I get the paper I see that the New York Times  front page is a full page list of names of those who have died from the covid19 virus, plus a word or two about who they were. Not just numbers. Not just names. People. Plus inside 4 more pages. All a part of the 100000 people who have died from this pandemic. More than any other country in the world.  And according to Columbia University, at least 40000 of those people did not need to die. Victims of poor planning, mismanagement and poor execution. And meanwhile our President truly believes he has done great job and that his own wishes somehow become fact.  It’s hard not to be overwhelmed by rage.

Our family gathers for its weekly international ZOOM visit. Things are moving along in Germany. My son is back in his school building again, preparing his students for an end of the year concert. My grandchildren are back in kita. My grandson longs for a pet, even a ladybug. The annual Ascension day  (Himmelfahrt) and fathers’ day (Vatertag) holidays have come  and gone, Pentecost (Pfingsten) will be next week. Retail shops reopening. Bars and restaurants too. Hot spots remain where there are concentrations of vulnerable workers in high risk industries. Germany has adequate testing to determine in days the results of reopening compared to weeks in the US where only the death rate is an accurate measure. Based on research and tracking of contacts, it appears that the virus was brought to Germany by return ski vacationers and spring break style revelry. And mass attendance events spread the virus. (And apparently a Baptist choir rehearsal.) The national weekly infection rate is  just slightly higher than the daily New York State death rate. In a controlled environment, it appears that as long as mass events are avoided, people can return to some semblance of normality. The Bundesliga professional soccer season is back, with empty stadiums.   I grieve the chaos and hubris of my own country and how our recovery will be delayed by ill timed random reopenings and people posturing over emotional demands for “freedom,” people who I assume obey traffic signals, wear seat belts and use condoms.  But then again, maybe not.

It’s still cool but the sun is out. The egret is back.

As always, my walk ends with flashing lights and a siren.

and as always

the egret is back

changing flowers

Flowers are changing.

in the park

I enjoy the show of Kat Edmundson. (http://katedmonson.com/) She’s got an old school American songbook feel and calls her style vintage pop. I met her at a coffeehouse performance one time. She said she liked my music. I took that as a compliment.

CC Eve’s show has technical difficulties tonight. So that’s it. Tomorrow is Memorial Day.

Living in coronavirusworld 62: Stand together by standing apart

5/23

Thanks.

As I start my walk, thee’s a commotion on the corner of 116th. There are three police cars and another speeding up Adam Clayton Powell, sirens wailing. A black man is pushed onto the hood of the car, face down, arms behind him being cuffed. One guy….four units???  I hear a voice behind me, “ All the time, all the time, all the damn time…..” Any time a black man is being taken down by 4 police cars, you know where the sympathy of the street is going to be.   Even without knowing the story.  I think about taking a  picture, think better of it....

My stimulus check arrived today! With Donald Trump’s name right  there by the Statue of  Liberty. Kind of took me by surprise. I’d more or less given up, or assumed it was a long-range project. 

When mine didn’t arrive a  few weeks ago, I went online to trace my check.  I got an ominous “unable to process” which led me to call the office, be on hold for about three  hours, finally reach someone and the be told it was the wrong office and I had to call another number. Where the phone tree left no option of speaking to a real human being. I figured some random thing must be wrong somewhere. And that this could take months. SO, one of these minor victories we celebrate. 

I took the check to the local HSBC which is closed except for its ATM’s.  I keep getting a message about “unable to verify.” So I take  today’s walk north to 125th to TD Bank where all goes well. I see a massive long line for Whole Foods and decide to head back to my neighborhood Best Market with a much smaller line.  

the Whole Foods line....

seen at whole foods

One of those  days  with long phone conversations.  One friend was trying to get to a family event in Pennsylvania. Transportation seems to be possible. He got as far as Philadelphia only to find there was no further public transportation available. He described the echoing emptiness  of Penn Station and the 33rd Street station on Philadelphia.   Riding in empty New Jersey Transit cars between Trenton and New York City. The mixed feelings of eeriness, emptiness and frustration.

My other friend is in a pastoral  position at one  of our “flagship” congregations. She used to be at a neighboring small parish.  She has just had four major travel events cancelled including two or three international. You might say we live in different worlds now. Her church will be there when this is all over.  Her church is on full ZOOM now.  I understand how draining  that can be. As well  as the feeling that members have access 24/7 to your life. There are some  churches that will weather this storm quite well. Others will not.  There are just way too many churches saddled with way too many buildings to maintain. 

The night’s cultural event is the Labyrinth Theatre’s ZOOM production of  Our Lady of 121st Street, by award winning Stephen Adly Guirgis and a truly all star crowd of actors like Bobby Canavale and Laurence  Fishburne and John Doman among others.(https://labtheater.org/ourlady)  Like any good play, it’s about relationships, what goes, what stays over time. And a wonderful alcoholic sister who touched every character's life in one way or another...and hey, it’s just six blocks away….

Im thinking about the irony of the social distancing markers at TD Bank: Stand together by standing apart…

Living in coronavirusworld 61: ...the kindness of strangers

5/22

Haven't seen this one before

This corona’s fuckin up everything.

(heard through my window this morning as I drink my coffee)

The President has declared he wants the churches open. Will “override” any governor who resists. Our denomination says “no.”  Our Presbytery executive had this to say:

The Presbytery’s Coronavirus Emergency Response Team has done significant research on the pandemic and does not believe there is scientific evidence that says it is safe to gather in person as congregations at this time.

We commend the counsel of the Rev. Dr. J. Herbert Nelson, Stated Clerk of the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church to the congregations of the Presbytery of New York City: “We are not for rushing people back into the pews when this virus is still claiming victims. When people can go to church without fear of infection, we will be ready.”

The Rev. Dr. J. Herbert Nelson reminds us that “the Church is, and has always been, more than a building. Congregations are using new and creative ways to share the gospel and minister to those in need.” Our congregations have demonstrated that again and again. With buildings temporarily closed, we have prayed, worshiped, made music (which is a bit of a challenge on Zoom), advocated for justice, worked for the welfare of the city, and witnessed to our faith in Jesus Christ by building on existing ministries and by developing new ministries.

                  Rev. Dr. Robert Foltz-Morrison

What a bizarre twist of fate…the president trying to force churches to open, faithful resistance means staying shut. 

But fact is, sigh, churches have not been closed. Buildings have been closed. Churches have worshipped every Sunday. I’ve led and attended Bible Studies. Sigh, The church is not the building. It is the people. The building is there as means to the end of mission, not as an end to  itself. 

Seems to me like a cynical ploy. This does not come from the President’s abiding love for Jesus. This  is the cynical act of a man worried about reelection who is willing to sacrifice our lives to curry favor with one of his base constituencies, the right  wing  evangelicals. 

My walk begins and ends with cop cars again. I see bunch of guys playing ball on a school yard that still has hoops.  I take one picture. Began to take another. Am seen. Hey man, no pictures…So hoops here are still on the down low. 

Hoops on the down low

I see another ironic sign I haven’t seen before at the dry cleaners. And see that someone’s birthday has been celebrated. We all doin’ what we can….

Happy birthday Adrienne

Talking to my mom, I realize how hard I’m trying to connect with home. I love New York City, I belong here. But in this cornavirusworld, I’m clearly yearning for a deeper home. I broke down and bought a subscription to the Post Gazette and read it online every morning. I’m wearing a  Cutch number 22 shirt from the last time the Pirates were good. I went out walking in a  Pirates hat. (The checkout guy at the grocery store noticed my hat and my Steeler grocery bag. Tells me he's from Rosslyn Farms.) Am drinking my margarita in mason jar from PNC Park with a Buccos logo. And I just cooked a sauerkraut, noodle and kielbasa casserole. All that’s missing is an Iron City beer.

My friend is in another ZOOM production, from the Barrow Group and it's For and ABout (FAB) women series. I have just enough time to catch her monologue. 

I host the West Park Open Mic again. We’ve got a good turn out and as usual, some people struggling to get in. On the one hand, some folks just have issues with tech.  On the other, inevitably some mysterious random thing will go wrong each week as if directed by gremlins. We’ve got a classic woman comic. And music from Kazakhstan again. And I end as always, end with RL’s Stay Awhile, as a connector to our first open mics. 

I finish the night with the National Theatre’s production of “A Streetcar Named Desire” a wonderful performance  with Gillian Anderson and Ben Foster. (https://www.nationaltheatre.org.uk/nt-at-home) There’s the tragic romance of the poetry of Tennessee William’s lines against the simmering sensuality of New Orleans as a backdrop. And of course, Blanche's final line, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers. In cornavirusworld, we all do. 

Living in cornavirusworld 60: I shall be released

5/21

North of the Meer

When at the edge of my awareness I catch a story about lone children being deported or immigrants with covid19 being sent back to their countries of origin or packed together in detention centers, when I half hear them and go on with my life, maybe I know what it’s like to a be a German in the late 30’s/early 40’s, these half heard stories about what’s happening to Jews….

I worry about the  characters sitting on lawn chairs between the deli and the liquor store, no social distance, maybe one mask, passing joints and bottles…

Spend most of my day getting ready for my “showcase.”

Lockdown showcase #2

Making sure I’ve got all the tech issues squared away. Working with the lighting. All what my boys would call “bootleg.”

Walk through the north end of the Park. Along the shore of the Meer. 

at the Meer

Some people playing paddle ball. Some reading. Some just sitting in the sun. I stop at Maxwell’s for a margarita. Stop at the  empty “show” court at the King houses. 

the "show" court

 And make my way home.

One more street memorial....

too many memorials

Finish setting up. Open up for Steve and Lizzie. Go over the details. Then open up for the public. Live streaming link on Facebook works!  (https://www.facebook.com/robert.l.brashear/videos/10158101976508361/) Friends arrive. My boys arrive. All three of us performers have songs that relate to the virus. Steve has been writing a song a day. I’d like to be  done with my  “Don’t roll that way” song, but the President keeps giving  me new verses. I feel good about having produced a good night of music. We end the show with Dylan’s “ I shall be released.”  A prayer, a fervent hope....

                                                  "I shall be released"

I end the day by watching “The Death of Stalin,” Ianucci’s darkly comic telling of the struggle for power following Stalins death. Fascinating to see one of my favorite actors Steve Buscemi, playing Nikita Kruschev, who I remember from childhood ….the kitchen debate with Nixon, the famous shoe incident, the face off with Kennedy over Cuba when we all thought for a few days we might die in a nuclear holocaust. Fascinating to reflect on the combination of terror and love inspired by Stalin’s seemingly random brutal rule. Equally interesting was a character like Molotov, ready to confess or to offer up his own wife. I have read that true believers would confess over their own sense of  real or imagined guilt over what they had done. Maybe some day in the future some of today's elected officials will look back and wonder how they agreed with, or silently went along with policies  as tens of thousands died unnecessarily while truth and science was denied for the sake of political expediency. May it be so.      

                                                                   Death of Stalin                                                                                   

Living in coronavirusworld 59:...and what we need now

5/21

Hope (Spring Bank)

Since we’re on the edge of Memorial Day weekend, I share one of my Pirates' camo hats.

Pirates' camo

A few years ago, Major League Baseball started having teams wear camo  on Memorial weekend to honor the troops.  Problem is, that’s not what Memorial Day is about. It’s to remember those  who  died in  service, not those still alive.  I wore this hat to visit my mom one day and my Quaker cousin who was there got upset at my celebrating militarsim. It's a bit more complex. Back in Pittsburgh, I spoke at several United Mine Workers rallies. UMW folks wore camo to rallies. My youngest son identified camp with miners. He’d see someone in camo and say, dad is that miner? And then  there is the whole western Pennsylvania hunting thing.  Camo. Complicated. 

Today we’re talking about Planet of the Humans,  (https://west-parkpress.blogspot.com/search?q=planet+of+the+humans )actually a Jeff Gibbs film “presented” by Michael  Moore. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zk11vI-7czE) A  For starters, there’s lots of critique. It is not as good as a regular Michael Moore film. Why was he so big on this? Data 10 years old. Too simplistic. Not the right time for this movie, etc. It is hard to think about clean energy during this pandemic. We can only deal with so much depression at a time. Though fact is, it’s not unrelated. As we destroy our environment, natural defenses against viruses diminish. The film is also right in its evidence that capitalism has found a way to capitalize the environmental movement. That isn't an entirely bad thing in that it shows there has been some significant shift in how we understand the world. Green has become, well, green. And the bottom line point is earth cannot sustain growth as it is currently taking place. We must of course , be careful not to slip into the old Zero Population Growth mode with its intrinsic perspective favoring privilege. The fact is, as economic reality improves for populations, birth rates go down. Earth currently can produce enough food to feed its population, it’s a matter of distribution, not production. What’s necessary?

* Reduce consumption

* Change distribution

* Reduce income inequity

Reducing mindless unchecked consumption is first. 

At first we wonder if people will ever change short of catastrophe. But as we think about the shift in public values related to  smoking, in one generation.  People  and cultures can change. What the film is so right about is the sense of urgency.

As peoples' attention begins to shift towards “reopening,” we are clear that the reality is there is no going home. Where we’ll end up will be someplace new. What we loved about Wednesday morning, crowding 6 or more people into a 4 person booth, as warm and nourishing as what we ate, as enjoyable as it was uncomfortable, we may never be able to do that again. 

There is a sense that for better or worse, we’re moving  towards reopening. Bike shops are open.

Bikes for the park

More bars and restaurants every day.

Reopening

You can feel people straining. 

I put some serious time into cooking. It’s a casserole with sauerkraut, egg noodles and ground up kielbasa. Pittsburgh again, that middle Europe vibe. 

The day ends with my friends Hot Glue and the Guns' Gluey Zoomy show. I really admire what they are doing. When compared to Pee Wee Herman this morning, Joel agreed and affirmed that in Pee Wee's  own way, that show was  about changing the world. They are riffing on the best of children’s tv here, which always has adults as a conscious and intentional part of the audience. (Remedial  ed perhaps?) A place of safety is created, an affirmation that the world can be a place we can live in without fear. That our friends are special people with unique gifts and personalities. That kindness is a common trait and a natural part of our relationships. And as we come to experience this as reality, we will come to accept nothing less in the wider world. That’s what was going on with Kukla, Fran & Ollie. And Pee Wee’s Playhouse, at the edges. And the urban celebration of Sesame Street. And Mister Rogers Neighborhood at the very center of what life in community can look like, what an ideology of neighbor can look and feel like. No to mention an alternative image of what it means to be a man. Acceptance. Kindness. Cooperation. And imagination. HG&TG know this intuitively and are smart  enough not to say it  explicitly. It’s what we are going to  need on the  other side of  the virus. And what we need now to get there. 

Coronavirusworld 58: What we do

5/19

Thank you

Once again, after a heavy night of ZOOM, I want to stay “close to home,” which is funny, because that’s the only  place I am.  But in coronavirusworld, for me it means staying off of ZOOM and keeping to myself.  Sometimes I feel a bit lost in cyberspace and need to catch up with myself. 

                                                          Virtual Reality by Rusted Root

I think of what we do.. I do. To build a  bridge to  tomorrow. As in morning, not in any big picture romantic Orphan Annie tomorrow, just tomorrow. For now, that’s about as  far as I  can see clearly, even as we stagger towards the reopening of the city.

I’ve done some coloring. The New York Times thank you poster.  I haven’t done that in years. Work the Times Weekly crossword puzzle. Search all the cultural events available online and feel overwhelmed. Start some new personal growth exercises. Keep walking. And cooking. Go to the grocery store, go through the whole wait exercise just for a couple of items  I forgot yesterday.  It's more  than I’ve cooked in years. Ready to have people over. An Easter ham. Old Huntingdon ,Pennsylvania recipes, foods that remind me of my mom's home cooked meals. Sloppy joes. Two different chilis and Frito pie. And now a hamburger potato casserole and sausage sauerkraut noodle recipe. Start to read a new book. And yes, I’ll admit it, I binge watched Tiger King over the weekend. Once you start, you can’t stop. Oh, the humanity.

Work on tech issues for my concert. 

End the day with Arkansas, a quirky Cohen Brothersesque film. With John Malkovich and Vince Vaughn.   You can’t go wrong with one in movie, let alone two. It was a nice bookend to the Poughkeepsie Characters  performance I'd seen by a collective of young actors including the singular  young comic/performance artist from Hawaii, Julia Ogilvie.  

Spend a lot of time in the kitchen, The casserole tastes good. 

 I start to catalogue who I’ve got issues with, how that makes me feel. (Yeah, that's step 4). And then add for myself, what good came out of it anyways. 

Prep for my concert 

My neighbors hang on the front stoop. Talk about trying to figure out how to do a ZOOM doctors appointment. Talk about the pain of no funerals, not being able to say goodbye. Not being able to be with a loved one in the hospital. And how if yo've got a heart condition, no JimBeam, no dark liquor. Go for the lighter stuff. 

Some more prep for  tomorrow. It will be another day in  ZOOMworld.

Living in cornavirusworld 57: We have not been orphaned

5/18

a place to start

So it turns out today is Victoria Day in Canada. (A uniquely Canadian holiday.) So our International Sanctuary working group meeting has been postponed until June 1. Four of us didn’t get the memo as they say and were waiting in the ZOOM room until we reached someone and figured it out. 

After planning out the week, it’s a good opportunity to do the errands left over from a busy.  weekend.  Stops at the drug store, and Best Market for groceries. On my walk back home, I notice a solo trombone player at the corner of 116th and Fredrick Douglass. 

solo trombone

Heading  home on 115th, I recall that there have been volunteers in Luigi’s Garden all weekend, clearing and cleaning, getting the garden ready.

cleaning out the garden

After preparing my BibleStudy, I go for my walk and at 110th and 5th Avenue, there’s the same trombone player, bracketing my day. He’s at least a mile away from where I saw him before. I wonder where he began, how many stops he made and how his take has been on his busker’s journey.  He's playing 'When the Saints..." a taste of  New Orleans in Harlem. 

trobone player reappears

Tonight we’re studying John 14: 15-21. But there will of course be lots of conversation about yesterday’s meeting. This section of John is about “the power of the Holy Spirit.” Jesus is preparing his followers for the fact that he will  not be with them in the flesh. In the midst of our 50 day Easter season, we are reflecting on the risen Christ’s earthly appearances between his resurrection and ascension.  So the church finds these word of Jesus a helpful parallel for preparing  us for the post-Easter time of the risen Jesus’ departure and the season of the Holy Spirit. On first hearing, the passage that strikes Marsha is verse 16, the comforter. What does that mean? Like a warm blanket to wrap round you? An arm around your shoulder?  Russ bemoans a theology of comfort that ignores social responsibility. I am most taken by v.18, I will not leave you orphaned. We will later talk about how in Jesus' day, orphan had not only sociological, but economic. Orphans were among society's most vulnerable, and therefore the constant concern of the Torah as in ...widows, orphans and the stranger at your gate...Which sounds like the current administration's deportation list.

There is a strong emphasis on the keeping of Jesus’ commandments. (See also 15:9, 14:15, 21-24) In John’s circular argument, a connection between keeping the commandments, knowing Jesus and loving Jesus. 

The word translated in King James as “comforter’ (v.16) is actually the Greek word for advocate, as a defense attorney. In ancient Hebrew cosmology, Satan was the prosecuting attorney (as in Job) and the Holy Spirit the defense attorney.  In personal terms, the voice that tells you you can’t do it, you’re no good, why even try, that’s Satan. The voice that tells you that you have value are worthy of love and can do it, that’s the Holy Spirit. The Greek word paraclete can mean “helper” or “comforter”as well, depending in the context. It’s important to note that in the gospels, John is the only one to use this term, four times: (14:26, 15:26, 16:7, 1 John 2:1).

Further, the Holy Spirit, the advocate, is the Spirit of Truth. There’s that word again. Like in I am the way, the truth and the life.... Again, this is uniquely John’s language. (Although we find similar language in the Dead Sea scrolls.). 

In essence, John’s argument comes down to the Spirit of Truth is connected to Jesus.  The world does not know or receive Jesus, therefore the world does not know TRUTH.  Truth is a big word. The fullness of truth is always and always will be beyond us. BUT, if you truly see Jesus, you see the TRUTH. There is a common narrative in popular Christianity to see the Holy Spirit as what Jesus left us with after he left earth. As if it didn’t exist before. In fact, in the Jewish tradition, the Holy Spirit has been there since the beginning. The breath that blew across the primordial waters to separate out the dry land was ruah, the Holy Spirt.  The breath that breathed into the lifeless clay Adam (earth-man) was the Holy Spirit. In John’s cosmology, Jesus was cosmic. The Creator, Christ and Holy Spirit were all present at creation, three distinct persons and yet one. Trinity.  Which maybe only Buddhists and readers of Marvel comics can understand. 

In 18-24, Jesus speaks of his return as abiding presence.  But notice, he’s talking about his return after crucifixion, not a second coming. ‘In a little while, the world will not see me but you will see me because I live and you will live. I am in my father and you in me and I in you.” 

(‘I am the walrus” again: I am he as you are he as you are me And we are all together’) It’s a circular argument: Those who keep my commandments love me, therefore they are loved by my father, therefore loved by me and I will reveal myself to them.” 

The popular concept of a “second coming,” that is Jesus coming back in triumph, is basically not a concern for John. Because he’s been here all along. Never left. And where does he live? Inside us. 

The earliest witness to the resurrection textually is Paul. He meets the risen Christ in an internal experience on the Damascus road. For him, Christ is not seen, but experienced. This happens after Paul witnessed the stoning of the apostle Stephen. Even holding the cloaks of stoners. My riff here is that in seeing Stephen, Paul saw Jesus. Later he will tell us that we will know him as he has. (1 Corinthians 15)  Likewise, in writing about the resurrection Bishop Spong argued that it was breakfast on the beach (John 21) when eating together, they experienced him within themselves and their companionship.  

Simply, we don’t see Jesus (except in others) we experience Jesus. 

We are not talking about belief in doctrines here. This is something else entirely.  To love Jesus, follow his commandments. When you do so, you will know him. Acting precedes belief. 

We finish by talking about the meeting. Beyond concerns about the lack of coherent vision at any level of denominational institution, despite the frustrating moments of conversation, coronavirus inspired uncertainty about the future, nevertheless the actions taken indicate hope. And remaining possibility.  Acting precedes belief. 

No we have not been orphaned. He is with us still.