Bed bugs. And the "Gatekeepers." And what we have to deal with.

8/22

I come around the corner and see Sean in his wheel chair and my heart sinks. He’s talking to Stephen. Bums a cigarette from him. They’ve got a place for him to stay, but it’s at 28th Street. Issues about his wheel chair. And it’s  room for 8 people. How can he do that? I look at him. Don’t know what to say. And this wheel chair’s ‘bout done in he says. And I look and he’s right. It’s falling apart. He’s got to stick with this. Has to keep trying. The wheels have big empty spaces in the rubber. He asks for his poncho. So I go into the church, find the saddle bag we’re keeping safe  for him, find the poncho and bring it back  to him. I’m always uncomfortable going into his stuff. Its like all he’s got, his life. As he begins to wheel off, he turns and says, I got to say thanks, man...I know I made messes for you. I know that. And i”m sorry man. But you did me a solid. Charged me up. Keep charging me up. I mean doin me solids. Thanks. And he wheels  off in his rickety wheel chair. 

RL comes in and reports that his crew can’t make the scheduled couch pick up today because of the rain. Wait a minute, couch pick up? Marc has it set up. A very wealthy person. Stephen reminds me that Session has instituted a no furniture that isn’t wrapped or with cushions or...We survived the worst of the #ows onslaught with no bed bugs. Do we want to risk it now? RL assures me that he has a nose like a dog and can sniff them out.

Later, Marc will come in very upset that I would even question it. It’s from a fine family.A fine apartment.A wealthy apartment..I remind  him that my next door neighbor’s apartment is worth over a million dollars and they had bed bugs. In New York City, bed bugs are no respecters of persons. It’s very democratic. Rich or poor, there they are. I hate these situations. Absolutely hate them. Everybody is so convinced they are right and offended that I would even consider the other position momentarily. 

Stephen has been working the negotiations. We may be approaching an actual term sheet. Don’t want to get my hopes  up, but...

Cara helps with sweeping for awhile. Then goes in to play the piano. Hasn’t had the chance to do this for awhile.  I listen as her improvisation fills the sanctuary.

Glen and Kim and David S are all on the case today, too. RL’s crew of the day.

Tonight is our screening of The Gatekeepers. We’ve got it downloaded and Marc and Stephen and I are working to figure out how to get it onto the big screen. So much easier with a DVD. But we get it figured out. We give it a test run. It’s working.

Once again, a good crowd gathers.  This is the Academy Award nominated film for best documentary. Interviews with retired Israeli Shin Bet, secret service officers. 

I don’t know what to expect. But I am profoundly moved. What I see most in these Shin Bet officers is integrity. A love of their people. And country. A desire  to do their work honorably. And right. And an awareness that it isn’t possible. Their efforts to track down and capture Israeli terrorists planning to blowup the temple mount only to see them released. Our own flesh and blood say the politicians. The tragedy of Rabin’s assassination. The pain and anguish is palpable. As is their ability to identify with their enemy. 

And of course when I say this in the q&a, an ideologue will say, But it’s all because of the occupation. And they are guilty too..

Of course they are. But few of us choose the situations we enter in to. We come with our own values loyalties, prejudices and do the best we can to do our work honorably.  To do what we can. And then leave a situation for those who follow next to deal with.As each successive week’s films roll by, I get progressively more depressed. 

These Shin Bet officers remind me of Israelis I have met. Mainly through Andrea. In 35 years of  personal engagement with this issue. Good and decent men. Trying to do the best they can. As the evil of the  occupation continues to devour the country both outside and in.

We need to continue this discussion. But I’m not sure where It leads.

I sometimes think that I should just focus on one thing like the movie in my blog. Leave out the mundane. The daily urban chaos. But it is the context within which this work is done. I’ve already said context is calling not circumstance. Me and the Shin Bet guys. We didn't create he worlds we live in. But we have to deal with them. Maybe that’s the connecting piece. 

Gravel and sand

8/21

Martin. Finally back from his summer in California. Big hugs and kisses. Wondering when his office will be ready again. Hey, we’re working on it. Looking for someone to commission his Antigone. And the big issue: working within the big picture to find a way to keep him here long term. A permanent presence. So we could actually begin a real collaboration.

My heart sinks when I see Sean tucked in on 86th Street again. I say, Hey, he says Sorry, give me twenty minute, OK? I say OK.

An hour later, Stephen tells me Sean is still there. And being hostile. I go back out. What happened to his  electric wheel chair? 
Wheels locked. It’s at Goddard. Will take a week to be fixed. He looks at my iced coffee. Could I get him one? 
Sure. 
Can I have that one?,
 I think a minute. Well, OK.
And some water? I get him a bottle of water. 
Do I have clean pants? I go in find a pair of shorts. That might fit. He wants a shirt. I bring one from his bag. 
Twenty minutes OK? Tells me he shouldn’t have been drinking last night. 

An hour later, RL tells me Sean is still there. I start to go back. RL precedes me. I’m not sure how this is going to go. RL is convinced my Christianity gets in the way of dealing with reality. He asks Sean to leave. Sean gets offended. RL gets more direct. Brings up Teddy’s work with Sean. How Teddy saved his  life and that  Sean is throwing  it away. Fucking it up. Sean tells me to get this motherfucker out of his face. A conversation of the merits of involving the police ensues. Seems Sean would actually like a few days behind bars. But then he takes a piece of his wheel chair and brandishes it at RL. Like Samson with his jawbone. RL doesn’t flinch. Sean talking about what the voices in his head are telling him to do.  We’ve got a stalemate. My deal with RL is if I can’t get him to leave, it’s 9-11.

Sean gets off a good line about RL, Fake ass Kenny Rogers, fake ass Willy Nelson. But RL’s more poignant line is You can’t help someone who doesn't realize he’s being helped. And later, you can put gravel on the sand  and sometimes it will turn into sand. But sometimes it just remains gravel.

When I come back out, Sean wants to talk to  his social worker. We finally get the number right and make a call. He leaves a message, gets frustrated and leaves. Then the social worker calls me back. They're sending  out a team. But it’s too late.

Back in Mc Alpin, on the second floor, RL’ s crew with Glen and  his friend and David S has the scaffolding up. Fifteen feet high And RL is on top. Ready to deal with some ceiling issue. Not sure I want to see this. I  tell RL that Sean is gone

The social worker calls me back. Tells me that Sean also goes by Montgomery, has many noms de rue, as they say.

Mysteries continue. RL has locked the bathroom near his studio. But someone has bent the hasp. Remains of parsley in the toilet. What could this mean?  Cushions from the front of the church have gone missing. RL found them on the front steps. Apparently someone  entered the church and took them out and put the on the front step. What good is changed locks if the doors are kept open?

I scratch my head. My hour with Sean was emotionally  exhausting. Felt ready to give up right then and there. I’ve had enough.

Hours later, I'm at the bar at 59E59 after a reading of Melissa A's new play. I'm thinking about how she uses the particularty of her Wales to open the door into universal issues. Get a call from RL. He's left his backpack at the church. Can I meet him there? Of course. And after a visit to the Gate and a conversation wirh Thatcher about our website, that's where we wind up.

Longing for Cuba

8/20

Stephen and Cara are in. Cara willing to go down and deal with the restrooms which have been a bit of an issue since our geyser on Sunday.

David S is in to be part of RL’s work crew. 

Karen comes in playing her music, singing her songs. I’dreally love to have her come on a Friday night and join in on the Open Mic...

Rudolfo is in. That long sad look on his face. After 3 decades, he desperately wants to go back to Cuba. I call the New York office. They only deal with United Nations related issues. They give us a number in DC of the embassy. We call. He listens  to a sequence of recordings. Leaves with a deep look of longing on his face.

Mop up day

8/19

And the mop up work continues. Apparently the  geyser in the bathroom as caused by Chinese food. A lot of rice. And beer. 

Mitchell and Noche back from their California sojourn. (Summer’s coming  to an end and I’m still here..) But Mitchell notices the ceiling above him is bulging and pregnant so RL’s crew will have to go in and drain it. So no more work for Mitchell today. Soli’s back  with a friend and daughter Gabriella but will wait until tomorrow to use the studio again. As the ceiling begins to drain, we can tell there was a lot of discarded beer in there as well.

Deacon James checks in as he’s going through another round of chemo. And all his clothes thrown into bags at Capital Hall are wrinkled. Who’s going to take responsibility for that? At least the manager is back from  vacation. 

Glen joins in as part of RL’s work crew. Gabe and Damarius here as well.

The man who wanted to know what makes for holiness is back. He’s got his own issues with Capital Hall. Bagged up his stuff too.

Jeremy G and Michael in to talk about Mario’s theatre Work Center project. Typical process where we throw the ideas back and forth. Grotowski again. I express my desire for this project not to work in isolation but to actually begin to build community. Those principles again:

1. Importance of ritual and ancient old practices
2. The importance of community
3. The creative process existing to be in service to others
4. The importance of song and music in community

I remember how sad I was when the Steelworkers’ Union Men of Steel Chorus finally went out of business. An era had ended. (Likewise the New York City Sanitation Department’s marching band...)

Outside the man with the bulging eyes and leather pork pie hat is pointing at the church and saying, And Jesus said to Nicodemus, ye must be born again....

All to soon, Stephen and Leila and Marsha and Jamie are all here to go over our strategy for the Presbytery Property Committee. Yet one more hurdle but we’re getting close. When we’re as ready as we’re going to get, we go out to get cabs and go  there and let the chips fall where they may.

When we get back, we agree that things went well. And that  we’ve got work to do. I’ll take Stephen out for a bit of dinner before  heading to 78 Below to play some music at Pat O’s Monday night show. 

Another West-Park moment

8/18

Another August Sunday. Anna here to greet me when I arrive. And of course, puppy.

Today we start with Isaiah (5:1-7). I explain that Isaiah was a court prophet. One of the kings’ advisors. From an educated and literate background. Amos, Hosea and Micah were all working class or peasant prophets. Isaiah wrote towards a reformed monarchy, what a king should be. Which is why so many of his poetic passages later get connected to Jesus as a king, a messiah. For the others, they saw the monarchy itself as needing to be done away with and a return to the previous confederacy of peasants and tribes. Both Isaiah and Micah have the same passage about swords into plowshares, but what surrounds the passages is radically different. Micah sees everyone now sitting under their own vine and fig tree, a more radical social vision than Isaiah’s. (Look beyond the specific passage to see, eg through the end of Micah Chapter 4....)

And he shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people: and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.

—Isaiah 2:4[2]

Beat your plowshares into swords and your pruning hooks into spears: let the weak say, I am strong.

—Joel 3:10[3]

And he shall judge among many people, and rebuke strong nations afar off; and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks: nation shall not lift up a sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.Micah 4:3[4]

The final words about bloodshed (...he expected justice, but saw blooodshed..5: 7) are hard to take as we see Egypt collapsing into violence. And I remember my anger after the film Paradise Now, the other night.. the humiliation of the Palestinians....The prophet’s words, sadly,still truth...

Hebrews brings us back to faith again...(11:29-12;2) repeating the history of the children of Israel. I recall Arlo Guthrie;s added verse to the traditional O Mary don’t you weep...

Moses was the first to get the notion that

the  world is safer with the army in the ocean

Pharoah’s  army got drounded, O Mary don’t you weep....

Paul’s descriptions of what befalls the faithful are good descriptions of what befell the early martyrs during and after Paul...(11:35-37)

 Women received their dead by resurrection. Others were tortured, refusing to accept release, in order to obtain a better resurrection. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment.They were stoned to death, they were sawn in two, they were killed by the sword; they went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, persecuted, tormented--of whom the world was not worthy. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground.

But we really want to focus on the ..great cloud of witnesses...that surrounds us. So we take time to talk about our cloud of witnesses. Not surprising that many speak of their parents. Family, friends. Stephen mentions his first boss. And I talk about Ray Swartzbach, my college chaplain, who in every way showed me what a minister was supposed to be. 

Finally we talk about Luke. (12:49-56). Is this the Jesus we know bringing fire? That same old song again, 

God gave Noah the rainbow sign no more water, the fire next time...Pharoah’s army got drounded, O Mary don’t you weep...

And not bringing peace,but division (12:51) I recall that in Matthew 10:34, Jesus actually says not peace, but a sword...what’s going on? Well, at minimum, it’s simply an accurate description of what happens when radical discipleship is required. I remembered my experiences in Nicaragua, how each of the Chamorro children published a newspaper, each ideologically different, each claiming to follow in their journalist murdered father’s path. The family dinners I attended where several rounds of angry walk outs sand returns would take place.

And the final words about being able to predict weather (12:56) but not being able to interpret the present time. As Dylan would said, You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows...which led to the Weathermen break off from Students for a Democratic Society (SDS) and then ultimately to the Weather Underground as the ’70’s got crazy.  Which way is the wind blowing today?

Today I sing, How can I keep from singing? A capella. An old Irish or Scottish song. And add the verse Robeson added during the Mc Carthy HUAC red scare days:

When tyrants tremble, sick with fear,
And hear their death-knell ringing,
When friends rejoice both far and near,
How can I keep from singing?
In prison cell and dungeon vile
Our thoughts to them are winging.
When friends by shame are undefiled,
How can I keep from singing?

That's the version that has made its way from Seeger on to Springsteen and Mc Cutchen...

                                                                                 Springsteen's version

After services, the session meets. A lot on its agenda:
* preparing for our meeting tomorrow night with Presbytery

• Reviewing where we are in the development of  term sheet
• Reviewing our history and seeking to develop an effective strategy to engage the candidates...
• And what our policy should be about the steps.

We decide to withhold final decisions on several of these until next Sunday. 

                           * * * * 

I’m at Whole Foods when I get the call from Stan. ...Uh, the toilet in the bathroom near RL’s studio is geysering, water flowing all over the place..running down the stairs...so I immediately call Marc. Then I get a call form Sarah Z, our old friend (who developed our branding, who produced our 100th anniversary, who rode Jamie and I to Teddy’s funeral, who...) She’s here watching. She’s headed to the basement to turn off the main valve. And Marc turns off a valve in the boiler room workshop....

By the time, I get there, the water’s off, but water continues to drip through the celling and the stairs are slick. Stan want so to know of the audience can exit down the backstairs so Marc and I go make sure we’ve got lights all up and down and remove anything that could block the way. And then we grab the mops for  solid hour of mopping and squeezing. Not the night I expected. 

When I see people exiting put the back way, I know the play is over, so I bring Marc upstairs for a drink and some food. It’s the least he deserves. Always there when needed, never says  a word, just does it. I see Sarah at the party. She loved the play. And was glad she could lend a hand. We both laugh, Another West-Park moment.

I’ll get RL on this tomorrow morning. He’ll know what to do.... 

Ready for tomorrow: Yunzer all the way

Gary Greengrass sees my Stargell shirt and says, Are you from Pittsburgh?

Born and raised, I say. 

So here’s the test, he says..name the three rivers...

Monongahela, Allegheny and Ohio.

All right, he says. if you’d have said Hudson,Mississippi, I’d have known you were faking. 

Yunzer all the way, i say.

You know David who works for me?

Sure do. Went to my dad’shigh school...and I know he brought you those fat boy  bobbleheads I say pointing to the iconic Eat’n’Park kid in his checker board overalls. 

I hear the door buzz. it’s a fresh direct kid with a delivery for the Representatives. Their food person is there with her cell phone. I call Stan. They won’t be here for another twenty minutes. At least. Can I just let them unload?

Sure. And then I realize that I’ve just locked myself out. I try Marc, hoping he might be around . No such luck. I call the Gate. Thankfully, RL is there. I walk down to borrow his keys. Have a long talk with a woman who goes back  to the Davidson activism days here. Especially with seniors.   Heading towards dementia, RL tells me confidentially.

As we’re walking up the street, i try to list all the ways of irony that RL is the one I have to turn to to let me into the church.Which can only make me smile. 

I come back. Hang outside talking with Roger and other Bazarov cast members. Roger has read my blog. And also watched Zeljko’s film about Teddy. have to say it, Teddy would have loved this. 

Last night, Stephen said he was singing Fire and Rain because he had promised Teddy he would. Given their ups and downs, I like that.

I’m ready for tomorrow. 

...and Stephen sings....

8/16

LabelsRL, Marc in back on bass, and Pat O

Rob again. Harder to wake up. I’m getting worried. 

Pat is back again and her husband Larry with her. A good day of vaccuuming, cleaning, answering phones, filing. And I appreciate the company.

Gregory is back, with his ingratiating smile and  I know where it’s leading. I ask if he’s still got his job. Yes, but still needs a metrocard...

The woman who claims she’s got a show comg up at Symphony Space just wants to sing awhile. No problem...

Work with Glen reassembling the sanctuary after last Tuesday’s show. We go for lunch to talk about what worked, what didn’t, what to do different next time. I admire how he has grown in the last year. RL comes in, still needing more crew members. Glen has just left his job. Before  it’s over, RL has put Glen on retainer.

Stephen sings Fire and Rain

Tonight at Open Mic, Stephen makes his singing debut. This time, singing Fire and Rain on his own, accompanied by Pat O’. Katie R shows up with a friend. Anxious to get her to sing. I do two originals, one for the first time. Katie, and others, blown away by my one song. RL wants ot help me develo it. Then I finish with Pat O’ playing and me singing Girl from the North Country. Later, I’ll bring back Sugaree during the jam. 

The playing, the singing, the working on it, helps keep me sane. 

RL’s niece's poster turned in to a banner. If it had a different,mopre pscyhedelic font, it’d look  like Fillmore West(Park). Tune in next week....

...and plays piano...