Is E-mail the tool of the devil and other questions

10/18

Glen and I have a long conversation about what we learned from the successful screening. Need to think seriously about the Little Theatre project  and what is and isn’t possible. Need to focus in on what is measurable and achievable.

I go to the wrong place at the wrong time which leads to a quiet moment in Riverside Park. A chance to catch my breath. I call P______ to wish her a happy birthday, haven’t seen her in awhile. She is happy to hear from me. Convinced that they are trying to kill her. Won’t tell me where she is. Can’t tell if she’s going to work or not. I wind up singing happy birthday to her.This makes her laugh. Come to think of it, the landlords, the legal system, they are killing her. And I don’t know what to do.

Outside talking with Martin, trying to finalize our deal. I’ve got an attorney. Where’s his attorney? Out of the corner of my eye, I notice the prophet folding his hand in prayer and chanting something in an unidentifiable language. when he’s finished, he sits down, opens a Chinese or Korean newspaper, his lips moving as if reading it aloud. 

Steve finally reappears. Seems he’s been sick for three days. Just coming back to life. 

I meet with Matt from theatre Dzieci. An amazing group with its roots in the Polish Theatre Lab and Jerzy Grotowski and later the holy theatre of Peter Brooks. As we talk we realize how much of the same vision we share.They see their work as a pathway to the holy. We start talking about bringing their Fool’s Mass to West-Park, perhaps establishing a relationship.

The St. Agnes volunteers, Brandon and Solomon, are here and  Danielle and Teddy are not, but Martin has work for them to do, so I assign them to him for the day. 

As the day ends, Alivewire is doing their final rehearsal before tomorrow night’s opening.  I look up to the balcony and can’t help but remember Trelkovski and his leap every night during the Tenant. I can get that they’re doing a stylized version of Arthur Millers’s the Crucible in an overly proclamatory style.Beyond that....

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A few words about email. Our second West-Park rule should be never try to resolve an emotional issue over e-mail. NEVER.. When I first arrived in the city, I was taken by the possibility of pastoral care via e-mail which seemed to be an emerging area of ministerial inquiry. Then time after time over the years I’ve had the scenario repeat where one congregant takes after another with escalating e-mails back and forth until both get angry and leave the church...and each other... without ever having looked each other in the eye or truly having had to deal with the other’s reality.  Beginning to feel that it’s a tool of the devil. It’s OK to relay information..but intense and personal? We need to be  able to see each others’ faces, unspoken reactions. Otherwise, we’re creating an other to engage who is our creation, not their reality. Don’t use e-mail for problem resolution...can’t be done...you can’t douse a fire with gasoline ...I’ve had to work two days to help recover people from an e-mail flame out...

10/19

Teddy seems to have been able to resolve the plumbing problem himself. That is a relief.

There’s a steady cold rain falling when I begin my meeting with Luisa. She too lives in a former Section 8 that has gone market rate with pressure on the rent stabilized tenants to leave. By the time we’re finished, the sun is shining.

Damarius has found  a place to live and a job with Verizon. Another victory....

Deacon James is back from burying his wife. Emotions with his son run deep, And his daughter still not located. Though worn, he remains strong and steadfast.

RL stops in just to see how things are going. He’s getting ever closer to having his studio ready. Marc come in to give me tutorial on the recording device so I can record my sermon on Sunday when he’s not there. Martin and I still trying to close. Last minute efforts to get Sunday’ service ready. 

I sometimes wonder about why there are so many ...well, difficult ...people around. Is  there like an energy magnet that draws them near? Does it say something negative about our character? Or is it a special calling? God asking us to response to who nobody else will? I’m going with that....but it’s still hard...

As I’m getting ready to leave, Brooklyn Brewery is  making their delivery to Alivewire. It's opening night.

Unconditional affirmation

10/15

Mim brings Pipp by. Grew up in the neighborhood, just a block or so away. Trained in theatre and music. Just back from years in Paris. Interested in doing a theatre/music piece on a scene from Dostoevsky’s Brothers Karamazov. Could this be the right place? We do the tour and look at all the possibilities.

While I’m finishing with Mim, RL pops his head in to make sure we know about his anniversary celebration tomorrow. Thirty-six years, I think.

Jane and Karen and Lynn are arriving for our sit down meeting. Jeremy will arrive shortly thereafter and Mim from the Center and Marsha and Hope from West-Park. Peter Matthews, a United Methodist (formerly African Methodist Episcopal) pastor from Cincinnati, and for just one among so many other things, most recently author of Dreaming With Audacity: King, Obama and Me, is joining us as a participant/observer to reflect on what he sees. He's committed to the uniqueness of urban spirituality, Thurmond, King. 

I set up the conversation. Ever since Jane first showed up here over a year ago, she has expressed a keen interest in the vision of the Center and a consistently expressed openness, desire, for collaboration. I have always felt that connection, but have been unsure what to do with it. And the congregation has not felt it, while liking the Sanctuary folk as people who share our space.

Mim asks the tough questions both about faith and function. As  I ask it, on what does Sanctuary hang together?  And what kind of organization, institution are we working with?

So we hear Jane’s journey. Raised Presbyterian. Left over PCUSA exclusion of LGBTQ people. (Though ironically, her brother Paul, openly gay ministry candidate, stayed.) Her life on stage and screen. Her journey as a white woman through the AME church, then Claremont Theology School and ultimately the United Church of Christ. LA. Coming to Sacred Center. Coming to worship and feel safe at West-Park. The end of Sacred Center, the birth of Sanctuary. Finding Jeremy at West-Park. (Still wish I had the money to keep him with us...)

And Sacred Center’s place within these new categories of Interfaith/Intrafaith, New Thought, Religious Science... all on the peripheral edges of our awareness, understanding. On that level, contemplating partnerships with Muslims is easier. 

Of course the by now usual discussion of religious vs. spiritual comes up and I share the roots of religion, in the word for ligaments. Religion is re-knitting the ligaments. We can  spiritual alone. But religion requires a community. And we all seem to long for community. Which I find the most sacred.  I also share some thoughts on the theology of built environment, the theological meaning of what, why and how we build. 

Somehow I left out what Sekou calls organic theology. Well, maybe only in word. I do talk about location, community as calling, not circumstance. And for all the Upper West Side gentrification, we are just around the corner from an SRO and there are public housing projects just up the street. The poor and marginal cannot be invisible. We have to a place where people meet, where paths cross.

Peter helps us find places of connection. The Center must get its 501c3 act together, for starters. But the common areas begin to emerge.

Martin has stuck his head in and out and now pulls me out to meet his friend Wendy, an actress, producer, entrepreneur and philanthropist. He’s led the tour. I give the Center vision rap. I can see something here is peeking her curiosity. What can we do to continue the conversation?

My friend Diana, a journalist with the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, has arrived with two friends from the  Lower East Side. We shared a circle in Tulsa, though not at the same time. She got me writing again with her 'zine, started in the midst of a newspaper strike, the Recession Supper Digest. (.http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1129&dat=1993(0213&id=eIRIAAAAIBAJ&sjid=x24DAAAAIBAJ&pg=1740,4530613 )

We share passions for the Pirates, good beers, Nicaragua and good soups in cold weather. (Not to mention she plays a mean set of spoons.) I do my tour then we retire to the B.

I carry with me our conversation about Dan Allen, the former priest who founded Neighbor for Neighbor in Tulsa. His contempt for liberals, unrequited passion for justice for the poor, making his place one where it was considered an honor to be accepted as a volunteer. And famous for the strategy of when resources grow short, increase services. His philosophy was imply stated: unconditional affirmation of the person and Give a damn.  It was my knowing him that made know that leaving the basement of SPSA and sweeping the steps everyday was the right thing to do. It’s a reminder to stay true to what is authentic and right. 

(http://danallencenter.org/)

Breathing (just a little) easier

10/14

Martin stops by to tell me that he and Jamie have finished negtiations and we have reached an agreement.  Noche Flamenca will be in the house for the next four years. This is the first piece of the puzzle. We may actually have a moment to breathe. There is something about this relationship that is supposed to be. 

Teddy comes out to join us. Says, Didn’t I tell you this was going to work? Didn’t Bob tell you? Just supposed to be. 

Glen is in to review the success of our weekend. And to share a number of ideas for programming, spiritual and congregational growth, etc. He’ll be working at cleaning things up, moving things to the old medical room, helping put things in order. 

Martin and I are talking outside when Scott from Alivewire Theatre (alivewiretheatrics.com) comes out.  I introduce them. He explains what they’re up to and the two of them get into a discussion of performance art. Turns out they've trained with the same teacher. We’re anxious to see what exactly this piece is.

Alivewire in the balcony

Scott wants information on the church’s socail history so I give him the Open House New York official tour. Glen agrees to help him with material for the program. 

Time for me to get ready for tonight’s salon at Jane’s house. 

The bottomline is, Niche Flamenca’s in the house. We can breathe (slightly) easier. 

Called to do what can't be done....

10/14

I feel good seeing Teddy on the steps as I arrive at church.  Luisa arrives soon after. Good to see Willa back and Lily and Samantha too.

We spend some time talking about last night’s screening. The success of hard work. And the beauty of the simple story of two men and their friendship. And even some time on the question about bombing and the innocents. And Luisa points out that all of us have decisions to make in our jobs that have impact on others one way or another, even when we want to act like they don’t. And to really wrestle with those decisions is never easy.

I decide not to read Psalm 22 today. It’s the Psalm of My God, my God why have you forsaken me....I’ll go there in Lent, Holy Week, but don’t want to go there today. 

It seems like there’s a heavy aura of judgment over our texts today. But I want to go to Mark If I were the kind of guy who gave titles to sermons, I’d call it Jesus and the One Percent. It’s one of my favorite stories...the story of the rich young ruler...

As we begin, Jesus is heading out on a very specific road or pathway..in Greek, hodos....a way of life, a viable way of living...

The young man approaches not only with wealth, but with humility...His question about inheriting eternal life sees sincere. 

In response, Jesus actually misquotes, or adds to scripture...(fraud is not one of the Ten Commandments,  though it  may well be an important caution for rich young rulers...and coveting is left out....could it be because he already has everything? ) plus, the young man’s question was  Do and Jesus responds with NOT DOs...

And when the young man responds, Jesus looks, he stares, and Jesus loves what he sees....This is the only place in the synoptics where Jesus LOVES....

But when he tells the young man that he lacks just one thing, that he must give all he has to the poor and follow Jesus, the young man has a dual response: he is  shocked and grieved...is it because no matter what he does he loses? Or are we all called to be LOSERS? And of what game?

So it is easier for a camel to pass though the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter into the kingdom of heaven....Early on my years in New York I saw an exhibit of microart where an artist who also painter on grains of rice had put a camel on an eyelash passing through the eye of a needle...I lost that image somewhere over the years but it has stayed with me...Commentators try all kinds of ways to finesse this one...but it is what it is...

The point is there is nothing the young man  can do... agency shifts to God....

(in this there is a parallel with Buddhism) ....it depends on  God’s grace, extended to us...For Luther, this is what was symbolized in infant baptism: our vulnerability...nothing can be done to earn it...but we can live it and create it...)

And the fact is, in our business, we need rich young rulers...our ministries depend on them...but on the other hand, it is a reminder that the class issue juts doesn’t go away....even in the church...colonial relationships can be any and everywhere...

For humans it is impossible, but for God, anything is possible..When my friend Janet Edwards was out on trial for marrying two women, the decision came down like this: marriage is between a man and a woman. This case involves two women. Therefore she can’t be convicted of doing what can’t be done. Creative casuistry at its best.

To which we said, that’ski d of our job. To attempt to do what can’t be done...and with God, all things are always possible...

There are three lookings for Jesus  in this passage....once at the young man (Wish we knew what happened to him), and  twice at disciples...he wants to make sure that they get it...

At the end of the day, it’s not what you have but who you are...

And yet one more time....the first will be last, and the last will be first...

For us, Jesus always sees potential...what we could be....

Part of what moved me about Occupy Wall Street was that I had met people who had done EXACTLY this...left it all...people with jobs,lives...walked away and came here because of the power of what they saw happening...

So I wonder sometimes, What presentation of the gospel would it take to get that kind of response? Could we do it?  

I leave that question in the air. We’ll sing kum ba yah (yes we did) and ven aca, Senor...

and then gather round  the table for our final blessing...

We gather in the chapel to review our options. There is impossibility. There is grace. With God all things are..... Jamie makes it clear. Every hard part. Classic horns of a dilemma. We tell her exactly what we want. And that’s exactly what she’ll negotiate for. And we will see. 

It’s turned into a beautiful sunny fall day. A perfect day for brunch in an outdoor cafe. And playoff baseball to come.  

Notes:  Sorry. No images for the camel. Someday I’ll find the exact one I saw....

Marc has recorded and edited the last three sermons. We hope to get them up this week...

Last Sunday for eucharist we used the new cups given by Dan's mother Sheryl. Their presence with us...

Screening The Second Meeting

10/13

Everyone pulling together to get everything ready for tonight’s screening. My heart stops when I see Rachel’s stuff spread out over a bank of pews. But my crew assures me that this, too, will be taken care of. 

At 12:30, I go out on the steps as Col. Dale Zelko and family arrive in a van from New Jersey. He drops off his family and I direct him to a parking garage. He’s late coming back because he gets into a conversation  with a Kosovar Albanian Muslim and an Israeli who are working at the garage. That’s the way  it’s supposed to be, he says, we’re supposed to live together as people, as friends....  Dale’s children and Zelko’s children are happy to see each other and anxious to play so soon they are off. 

Later,Dale will call me from the John Lennon Imagine memorial in Central Park and invite me to join them for pizza near the church. When I get there, several other contingents of his family have arrived from Jersey. Well, if no one else shows, I think, at least we’ll have these 20...                                  

Dale is a forthright, straight forward, direct man. What you see is what you get. Over lunch, he talks about his 21 missions (interesting word) to Baghdad during Gulf War 1. How up until the last minute was praying that someone would stop it, reach a compromise, call off the mission. But that never happened. No one realizes, he says, it is we military people more than anyone who don’t want wars to happen. We know what they do. It’s insanity. We know... He also speaks of a number of interventions that allowed him to survive a situation where that prospect was highly unlikely. And that the most difficult question he was ever asked was from a 5th grade  class. Did you ever kill anyone? And he’s still not sure how to answer that one..

Zeljko and I head back for the tech rehearsal,then I head home to change. My son Nate and Jamie’s son Max will be working the side 86th Street VIP door as security. 

When I get back, a steady stream of people are coming in. This is good. As 7PM nears, the church is nearly full. The Consul General Hon. Mirjana Zivkovic has arrived along with other Consulate staff. People from the Serbian club in Queens. And from the Serbian Orthodox Church. Old peace activists. Rick and Kitty from Stony Point and the Presbyterian Peace Fellowship. Church members. People Zeljko interviewed. Including RL in a 3 piece suit. (And appropriate hat) Editor of a New York Serbian newspaper. It’s a good crowd. The Serbian flag hangs from our balcony beside the American flag. I begin to relax.

I see the movie for the first time. The story of how these two antagonists met and became friends. How each in there own way rejected glorification of their individual stories. Col. Zoltan Dani declining offers of millions of dollars to teach others how to  shoot down American stealth bombers, F117’s. And Col. Dale Zelko’s declining the opportunity to become a poster boy for the US military. What each wanted in the end was their common humanity, their families. They recognized their shared desires when they met. And became friends. 

I am beginning to understand the beauty of Zeljko’s art. He celebrates, lifts up, the simple, the common. He avoids the dramatic sensationalist narrative in favor of images of simple humanity and in that finds beauty. In Dani’s bakery. A fighter pilot who is always breaking into song. A friendship quilt. A wife who tears up remembering how long it took her husband to truly return to himself after he arrived back home. (And how some never do..) A little boy irrepressibly jumping up and down with joy on his father’s return. An impromptu baseball game. A stealth bomber turned into a cake with a icing dot where the shot hit...all of this. He shows us. And just lets it be. 

Dale and Zeljko answer questions. And the questions keep coming. Finally, as could be expected, a woman takes after Dale for bombing innocent women and children. I begin to move over that way, behind her. Dale stays cool. Even tempered. Answers her question seriously, despite it’s morally superior accusing tone. And following the formal close of the evening, he will talk even more with her. I admire his level headedness. And we’re all glad the subject was opened up.

Keegan 

Together behind the Serbian flag

Dale’s  son Keegan finishes the night with a careful, precise playing of a traditional Serbian folksong on his violin. We all stand behind the Serbian flag for a photo op and go back to the chapel for a reception, but conversations continue. 

So many random connections, from Dale’s Slovenian ancestry to Zoltan’s son finding Dale online ultimately leading to the friendship that has developed between Zeljko and I. Or maybe not random....

Even though we continue to struggle financially, sometimes barely breathing, every time we have a night like this I am thankful that we came back , reopened the doors, made one more event that never wold have happened otherwise possible. We are still here.

Dale, Bob and Zeljko

The interruptions define us

10/12

Teddy reports in before taking off for work. Kanaska showed up from Canada last night seeking shelter. Her first time here since her Occupocalypse. He put her up for the night and fed her. Told her she’d have to leave today. We’re really trying to get everyone out. 

Our team of Glen, Steven and Luisa is back on the case. heading to Costco amd Coney Island and the ends of the earth to gather what we need for the screening. 

Ten cases of beer show up from Lagunitas, one of our sponsors...

RL

Kanaska

While I’m talking with Kanaska, one of this moments happens. RL walks in. Spies her guitar case. Asks her what’s in there. She opens it up and shows him her Hohner guitar. He gives us a complete oral history of the Hohner company. he takes off his hat and asks if he can play it. (I've never seen RL without a hat on. Aways assumed he slept with one on...) And there it is....RL, my shaman cowboy Indian old radio show man and Kanaska, tattooed lady occupier artist with a classic singer-songwriter voice with a Janis Joplin undertone trading song with each other in our narthex. 

Danielle looks up. There’s work to be done. I think of making  a video or at least a iPhone photo but decide that would be invasive and its best it just let it roll. Kanasla sings a new song, you can’t force on love on someone who doesn’t want it and you’ve got to lay it in the nnnnnnow.... Whatever else is going on, her creative vision never ends...

Another West-Park moment....back to work, but the interruptions define us...

http://www.myspace.com/rlhaneymusic  

https://www.facebook.com/kanaska.carter

The first rule of West-Park

10/10

Last night, stayed up with Zeljko reviewing his shooting. He’s very happy with the results, with the characters. He walks miles and miles through the city. Has come to know different neighborhoods, their characteristics, their feel. He finds our neighborhood a bot of an anomaly, a place with no clear distinction, a constant flow. And West-Park in the geographic center, a place like a crossroads where different cultures and classes run into one another. He has seen what it is we are and are seeking to be. 

There are some people we haven’t managed to film I feel I really want to round out the picture....

This morning, I run into him and his daughter meeting a Serbian embassy friend for coffee. Luisa walks by with her dog Harry and Zeljko’s daughter is intrigued. There is some ongoing political intrigue happening  between the Serbian UN mission and the US mission involving a cancelled gay pride parade in Belgrade and these officials insist that these other officials appear and/or.... all touches our screening in one way or another. 

Kimberley arrives for her weekly supervisory session but is also very concerned about her upcoming medical situation. Nevertheless, we meet with Steven and Glen to review plans for the screening. Things seem to be falling into place with hard work.

Teddy is supervising the work of  Solomon and Brandon from St. Agnes. Crunch time is fast approaching.

10/11

A full day of work preparing for the screening.  Banners arriving, ready to go up on the scaffolding. Posters going in all the outdoor boxes.

Late in the day,things get tense. To say the least. While on the scaffolding to hang the banners, what appears to be a crack pipe is discovered. Assumptions made. But closer examination raises questions. No windows from anyone currently in the building open onto the scaffolding. The only window is from what was the free medical clinic until recently. I learn more about crack pipes than I ever intended to. And there are good important  discussions to have about the nature of urban ministry, expectations, etc. Acceptance vs. accountability. All of that. But this is not such a great time to  have that discussion. 

I do make clear: we do have a zero tolerance policy for the building and drugs. Anyone who violates  that will be asked to leave, regardless of my feelings for them. But assumption is not evidence. And I do trust that there is enough loyalty and respect in our core group that the policy will be followed, not to jeopardize the church or me personally. More than likely the pipe goes back to the craziest days of Occupy. In all we do we struggle with the line between acceptance and enabling. The answers are not aleas easy. And there is work to be done.

In the middle of this conversation,  Deacon James comes in desperate to pull together funeral arrangements for his late wife on Long Island. Time is running out. And Rachel is in my face about her struggles with trying to fulfill her agreement to get her accumulated stuff out of the sanctuary. What began as an overstuffed SUV shopping cart has grown into a mini mountain. She keeps trying to make me see the value of this or that treasure.All the time speaking in a voice and speed that makes me feel like serious dental work is going on inside me.

I keep forgetting the first rule of West-Park: you can’t have a rational conversation  with an irrational person. 

I feel the chaos pushing in.....